Random.

Wordless Wednesday #6

2012-02-01T17:13:00.001+08:00

(using powershot G9, me suck badly in snapping fireworks manually)

6+ Months More...

2012-01-31T22:09:00.000+08:00

before I reach 23 years old.

i already feel the pressure of getting older. the only thing i can be proud of my life for this 22 years 5 months 2 weeks 6 days (thanks daisypath) was my convocation. anything that can top that off? none. nilch. nada. nein.

i'm not a planner btw, i don't sketch and plan what i want to do in life. which why i sucks really bad during any job interview when they asked, what is my ambition, how do i see myself in 5 years, etc. because seriously, i dont have any specific idea what i want to do with my life.

ah, before, i did plan to get married. hahahaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha. but i guess, i should bury that hope and dream deeper than ever. somehow i could feel it in me, it is impossible to achieve that. i talked to much about don't want to get married early before n now the toll is on me, padan muka. ini urusan Tuhan pon, maybe God want me to love myself more before i start to love deeply for someone. yeah i do hate myself for lots of reasons. ah, but i do hope for my friends road to marriage will be easy-peasy, at least i could go to their wedding and weep. haha. no, i'll be happy for them though little bit jelly but, still i will be happy for them :) (note: tasha n ain)

back to the main topic, so yeah, i dont planned out my life. i don't know what i want to do, what kind of career i want to pursue, whether i want to stay in kepong or get the hell out of here n living on my own (harapan la gila, kau tuh dah r berpenyakit). i am going to be 23 in 6+ months time, n for now nothing great is happening in my life. except for the fact that i am no longer unemployed right now, as i am working as a temporary worker in TESCO near my house, doing data entry thingy. boleh lah nk earn sedikit duit daripada tak buat apa2 dekat omah. oh n tomorrow, got an interview at cyber, which i am reluctant to go but maybe i should just try it out.

i am in a darker mood right now. so what i blog will be 70% bulls. u can stop reading if u dont understand a shit i type. tears r building up without no reason right now, i hate dark aura.

i just hope, before i blow out 23 candles on this upcoming august (if anyone do buy me a cake lah kan, mungkin beli utk diri sendiri? *forever alone*), i have achieve something that i can be proud of. takkan nak sanjung memori convo sampai mati kot? at least, maybe a permanent work that i love to do or maybe going to oversea with my own money or maybe finish reading all these dust-collecting books i owned, or i don't know, just something to be proud of.. being someone fiancee boleh dibanggakan tak? okay aini, u need to stop dreaming.

sigh.

it just frustrating u know, to gather up too much hope on something, on someone but u can't expect nothing from it because u know, it wont happened n yet u still hoping a hopeless hope.

people keep saying sabar n tabah, but seriously i am getting weaker by each minute.

okaylah, i'm getting merepek, i can tell. i was studying little bit for the job interview tomorrow but nothing could stuck in my head right now. pasrah je lah utk esok.

till then, peace be upon you :)

Ini Serius

2012-01-21T14:43:00.001+08:00

salam people, peace be upon you :)

it's been a long time since i want to write about this matter. my sickness to be exact. i kept it secret as long as i can before, as at first it is a humiliating to share with random strangers or even my close friend about it. and i don't think people actually want to share about their weakness to other people right?

and yeah, i actually don't want people to think that i am seeking for a sympathy here, because surely, i am not.

but i am getting older by year, not only me, but my bonda as well. our age gap by 40 years, she had me when she was 40 years old so it is so easy for me to count her age. so, i am going to be 23 this year and my bonda, she will be 63. bet your parents didn't even reach 60 yet i think?

so, after perfectly 6 months that i got the awesome health that i ever get, my sickness was back on wednesday. you can tell me i am sick if you see me pale as a vampire (more paler than any vampire that they portrayed on tv), i look depressing and gloomy as hell (i think i always look like that right?), and i keep on going to the toilet to attend some business. hehe. but on the emotional and mentally side, you can see me getting morbid and rage in my twitter or sometimes blog. not on fb anymore because there are plenty of people in fb that i wish never know about me or even the existing of this blog.

if u followed me on twitter, u can see me getting morbid last 2 nights. let me quote you something that have been lingering in my mind since the sickness are back.

"Wonder, if bonda dh xde satu hr nnt, sape nk jaga aku if sakit ni still ada? Maybe I should follow her if that happen..."

why la so morbid? now let me tell you why. i got this sickness when i was 13 years old. been admitted into the hospital so many times that i lost count. so much blood transfusion that even my doctor said that blood transfusion might endangered my life more. and to be honest, my doctor of 10 years now, don't even know what is wrong with me and my sickness don't have any modern medicine except vitamins to increase my red blood cell back. countless visit to bomoh and ustaz because if modern expertise could not help you, you need to seek for other kind of help and expertise.

Alhamdulillah, finally we did found one ustaz who can help me. and this is one of the reason why i HATE so much on any people who did not believe the power of al-Quran. who keep on insisting becoming an atheist or whatever shit just because you are too ignorant to understand anything. okay that will be on another topic.

though i found this ustaz, but he also could not predict when my sickness going to come or is there any way to make it stop, no. he even said it might get worse after i get married and get pregnant. what he can do is just help me get better when it came. and for recent sickness, he was not free and i couldn't see him so i am left to be patient and redha. redha la sangat.

that's why i am getting morbid and negative by each minute. i am getting older, so as my bonda. so tell me, when she's gone, who going to take care of me like she did? because i am 100% sure i am not that strong to face this alone. you can say siblings but, it's been 10 years man since i own this sickness and none of them seem to understand. they do understand but they do not care as much as my bonda's did. friends? there are no such friends that are willing to care for you when you are sick. now fahmi did reply my tweet and said, a husband. i doubt that a lot, because you see, the one that i have with me right now, don't even know how to react to my kind of situation. i don't blame him though, because no one knows how to handle this kind of mess that i am in.

and to think that i will get married one day and have this kind of sickness, it will just bring me down more. because more people will acknowledge my sickness. what will my mother in law will think? my in laws? my husband relatives and more. they will just said 'why u even get married with someone who got un-treatable sickness? a weirdo? a burden?'

and i also feel, it is selfish of me to make someone else who got a long life in front of him, to just ditch his freedom and have to take care of me. because this is my sickness, this is my trouble, this is my problem, i have drag my family with me and i am not willing to drag all other people into it too.

point of this post it just to let you guys know that, there are reasons why i am so morbid and negatives most of the time. why i am so pessimist, i am so low on self-esteem and such. why i over think even on small matters and such. and for him to know, why i feel hurt when he react like what he did when i told him i was sick but in the same time, i can't blame him for anything.

just wish me well will you?

till then, peace be upon you :)

Photos: Fify & Rimy Wedding

2012-01-18T00:20:00.002+08:00

salam.

at first, i had lost the desire to share anything that i've taken with my camera.

senang gila bukan semangat aku hilang?

but then, what the hell,

this is my first wedding's job pon, so,

like meena said, first work, first love, first night. EH.

gambar memang sampai 11gb tapi yg usable,

meh, less than 2gb.

and from that 2gb, dikurangkan lagi untuk di-compile-kan and di-share.

silalah komen, tolonglah komen?

komen anda akan membuatkan saya tahu mana salah n silap saya :)

enjoy

1: Details of the Wedding (Bride's Side)

2: Getting Ready

3: Random Shoots

4: Rimy's Bertandang (Groom's Side)

5: After Wedding Shoot

maka, itu sahaja lah yang boleh aku share kepada umum.

boleh la kan as a first timer?

remi suruh share pengalaman perasaan jadi wedding photographer.

to be honest, gua nervous teramat a night before the day.

macam aku yang harus bernikah esok tuh. bahahha.

but then, i did some preparation, search for tips online,

browsing through wedding photos by random photographers,

and keep remind myself that i am just an extra helper,

not the main photographer pon. so takde r cuak sangat.
oh n mana boleh lupakan jasa L yg byk bagi tunjok ajar camne nk shot betol2
n what technique should be use.

so, that's all.

agak2 mahu tak hire aku jadi photographer korang nnt?

hahahha.

till then, salam :)

Weekend: Photog's Job

2012-01-15T20:55:00.003+08:00

salam.

i've been summoned to help L for his client's wedding photoshoot this weekend.

this is my first time ever doing an official photography job.

i don't know how i even performed for the last 2 days.

hopefully for a first timer,

i did a good job. *hope*

anyway, i had fun doing it.

improve my skills so very the little bit in photography.

it was exhausting though but yet, exhilarating experience ever.

am still tired,

and my laptop did not give me the benefit to touch up all the pics.

(overheating problem)

so, here are just some of sneak peek

on what i did manage to snap during the event on Saturday.

if i'm not that lazy, perhaps,

i will share with u all the other pictures as well :)

uno

dos

tre

thank you so much to L for giving me this opportunity :)

oh, and for the official pictures of the Fify & Rimy wedding,

do visit http://www.facebook.com/mackefphotography

till then, salam :)

Luncheon With Merz & Leyha

2012-01-13T14:10:00.000+08:00

salam people :)

semalam aku mengangkut merzie untuk teman aku pegi uniten.

even sudah tidak diterima untuk bekerja as staff tnb pon,

aku still kena pegi uniten sbb nak ambil statement finance

untuk settle-kan hal ptptn tercinta.

(if tak mcm mana i nk pi holidei kat bali on May?)

so dah alang2 berada di sekitar uniten-bangi-kajang-serdang-putrajaya,

gua contact la soon-to-be celebrity sorang ni,

who else, mestilah so-leyha.

nak jumpa la kan after berbulan dh tak jumpa.

selepas menjempot celebrity,

kami ke alamondok putrajaya untuk lunch.

Gardens pilihan hati even though masing2

bukanlah bekerja mahupon anak perdana menteri untuk

lunch mahal2

tapi alahai, sekali sekala, tak salah kan?

so enjoy je lah gambar.

dua awek dalam gambar ni yang pakai tudung kelabu + pink

still single and available

if berkenan, boleh tinggalkan no telefon di ruang komen.

boley layan pics now.

so-leyha, makin kurus naw!

merzie browsing the menu and gasp at the price

percaya atau tidak, YUNA yang snap gambar kitorang ni.
serius!

bunga yang gua cilok untuk so-leyha

Pecking Duck Pasta

so-leyha with her meal

merzie with her meal, spaghetti marinara

my meal: spaghetti carbonara

aku upload gambor disini kerana mereka nak picture

and takde cara lain mahu share selain letak disini.

fb?

gua dah tak on fb until further notice.

sekian, salam :)

East Coast Trip

2012-01-10T01:32:00.000+08:00

salam.

first post for 2012.

before i begin, lets hope all of us survive this year challenge. insyaAllah :)

last Friday, my family organize a trip to the east coast of malaysia.

at first, lots of people agreed to join us.

but, maybe it was not destined for the others to join,

only few left followed us to the trip.

so, kakyang n family, bonda, awep n his two friends,

and me set our journey from KL to Gambang at 11 o'clock.

Gambang Waterpark, here we come!

sun burn effects?

conclusion : super tired but extremely fun.

need to gain stamina after this, sempot and pancit naik tangga.

the slide was awhsome though got to admit,

aku menjerit sakan time turun slide.

penakot rupanya.

we stayed at a homestay in Indera Mahkota.

big house, could accommodate around 30 people i guess.

and we had our dinner at Awana, Tanjung Lumpur.

rm220 for 8 person + 2 kerapu + 1 siakap + 2 pinggan sotong

affordable and yummeh

hasil santapan kami. burps.

after dinner, we went to Telok Cempedak (TC)

but maybe it was the weekend so massive traffic jam there.

and we decided to turn back and went to benteng.

lepak2 tengok sungai sambil jalan2 tgk downtown.

one of the view that i really love.
'KUANTAN' along the riverside

we also did some visit to awep's previous rumah sewa

and also kakyang's mrsm.

the next afternoon, abang ada, someone we knew who live in kuantan,

took us for lunch at the riverside and we have ikan patin gulai tempoyak.

sedap seh tp gua takde amek gambo sbb malas.

on the evening, we went to taman gelora to buy the famous karipap.

boleh lah. takde lah se-standard karipap ikea.

tp boleh lah for 70sen each.

paling menarik, popia dia. isi rasa ikan. sedap dow.

dah beli karipap, we head to TC and lepak tepi pantai.

angin TC sangat lah terbaik!

karipap taman gelora.

we decided to went back to KL after maghrib.

unfortunately, my bebi-mebi pancit.

so we head to abang ada's place to stay a night and look

for new tyre the next morning.

the next morning, after bebi-mebi got her new set of tires,

we decided to went to kemaman to buy keropok.

first we stop at Hai Peng Kopi to have the taste of kemaman famous coffee.

sedap tuh sedap tapi,

sorry tak boleh lawan kopi makyang mishah aku buat kat kampong.

so then we bought kepok and head to cherating pula.

saja mahu layan pantai dah alang2 lalu tepi pantai.

kepok lekor yang berasa nugget mcD. SERIUS.

berhenti tepi jalan semata2 nk snap gambo ni.

so that's it!

first trip of 2012.

and we had lots of fun though tragedy did happen sbb tayar keta pancit.

bonda already plan out to go to Kuala Terengganu pulak.

that is still in planning mode.

there are plenty of pictures but,

being me, i am so lazy to upload.

till then.

salam :)

It's Over

2011-12-30T13:18:00.001+08:00

sorilah kecik bebenor. please squint your eyes if nak baca.

Salam. So if you do take a moment to read what i attach above, so I guess you already know that my interview previously did not give me any good news. :)

Trying to smile now.

So how do I feel bout it? Seriously?

Devastated. Angry. Sad. Relief.

I am devastated because somehow I have that speck of hope to be working there. I get angry because I need to wait for more then a month to know the answer, but actually at least they told me I don't get through (If nak compare with company I and D yang langsung tak contact). I am sad because I feel rejected and I feel like a sore loser more right now. But then, I feel relief too because I don't know, penantian dah berakhir kot?

I really feel a little bit mournful right now. But, I guess it just not my rezeki to be working there. And actually, I should be looking at this with a positive side too. I get to go to Gambang on next Friday for family vacation. Then I got to play ps3 games next week as awep intend to buy me AC: Revelation and some other games too. And I got the news at the end of 2011, so I could ditch all bad endings and start 2012 with a fresh start.

'Setiap kejadian ada hikmahnya yang tersembunyi'

I know my post sound positive and bright but ah... There is nothing I can do bout it right? Just suck it up and let go.

Till then, goodbye 2011, welcome 2012 :)

Wordless Wednesday #5

2011-12-28T13:00:00.002+08:00

<3 <3 <3

510th Post

2011-12-27T17:43:00.000+08:00

Salam. I wish every single person of people who are reading this is granted a very pinkish health and are awesomely happy with what they are doing with their life right now. It's been, 4 months since I harvesting grapes at home, tanam anggur or penganggur as we know it. Sadly, harvesting grapes is not as fun as it sound. Wait, it is fun but not profitable at all.

I can't help but notice most of my friends who graduated at the same time as me, have already landed a secure job on their own. Earning money, saving money, being successful, enjoying their monthly income and such. Good for them! While me, still unemployed and seriously I don't know when I will have this kind of kesedaran and start looking and applying for jobs.

I do graduated with a degree in IT. I worked hard for it, I finished my studies with pride and hardship and joys but now, I don't know why I even throw myself in this area at the first place. I'm not interested in IT, I have little euphoric moment with database, yes I did but that is not enough to make me enjoy making a living with IT jobs. It's already to freaking late to complaint now right? Things already been done.

Now, letters of debt are already in my hand and love it or not, I got to pay all of it. 60k weh, 60k.

Haih, I know giving stupid lame excuse like 'waiting for TNB result' is just a way to duct out from people question on when I'm going to apply for a job. Truthfully, I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want to do, I don't know what I should do.

2012 is just around the corner.

Hopefully, I could figure something out before this mild depression getting worst and no one could stand me when I am consume by dark aura.

Till then, Salam.

Weird Collection

2011-12-17T16:27:00.000+08:00

salam.

people love to collects lots of stuff.

be it handbag, shoes, stamp, teddy bear, shot glass, scarf, bracelets,

you name it, you collect it.

i used to collect one piece figurine, LOTS.

then i stop because my collection are collecting dust. *cough*

so, just now, i have plenty of time (penganggur la katakan)

and i realize i have collected something after all this while

and i don't know if other people do it too or not,

so i just assume it is one of my weird collection indeed.

what is it?

passport photo.

orang malaysia korang mesti tahu lah kejadah haram itu kan.

so, every time i rummage inside my friends wallet, purse, albums,

(sorry, habit punggah barang orang ni. even dashboard kereta org pon~)

if i found their passport photo,

i will take it for my keeping.

sometimes i asked nicely, n they sometimes reluctant to hand it to me.

no one have great passport photo. no one.

but, i kept on insisting, and

as i am an adorable friend *puke*, they couldn't say no.

or sometimes i just take n keep quite bout it. isk isk.

ah. post ni takde makna pon.

just kelakar n seronok pula bila tengok gambar2 membe yg ada.

ada yg dh lost contact, ada yg dh bergadoh,

ada yg still happily berkawan dgn aku lagi.

i love photos and pictures, it will never change your memory with someone.

the collection?

n the nominees are......

just saying, ada 3-4 org dlm bloglist aku ni pon

pernah bg gambo dorang kat aku.

can you spot which photo belong to u?

(hint: ~~shera, nisa, han, erma, shelly, sol, tasha~~)

okay lah kabur, tp kang,

marah plak tuan2 gambo if gambo mereka di-exposed-kan

haha.

till then.

salam. :)

Wordless Wednesday #4

2011-12-14T14:31:00.003+08:00

507th Post

2011-12-06T17:11:00.004+08:00

salam. got nothing much to post lately. just the same random thing happening in my life for now. you can predict this if you are unemployed and have no money to enjoy your life outside from your own home. well here are just some random things i would like to share with you people :)

- i made a decision that this december will be 'no hopes, no wishes december' for me. why is that? putting on hopes and wishing for things seriously will just make you devastated if nothing came true. so for now, i'm living my daily basis with no expectation.

- but somehow, deep down, i still have that speck of hope for getting a job with tnb. just a tiny speck, i dont want to disappointing myself later.

- am struggling with my own self badly. good versus evil sort of struggle.

- one of achievement i get for november is, putting up family photos wall of frame :D

- been reading lots! as u can see on the previous post, the latest 3 books are read between a 5 days only. now am hook up with lost symbol by dan brown. he fascinated me again!

- got 10+ more books to be read and i still feel i dont have much book yet. where can i find the source of money to buy more? jobs? next bullet.

- been planning something for next year but somehow, i feel like, it would be difficult to execute them. i rest all of the matters to God. if Allah's willing it to happen, it will happen. if not, then i am nobody to complaint.

- need a place to take pokchop to be ~~circumcised~~neutered. dah mula tunjuk gatal with dompok.

- oh, last weekend, spend time with family n awep's friend to play laser tag. SERIOUSLY AWHSOME! can't wait for the next time! *grinned*

- been polishing my vocabs with words dynamo at dictionary.com and also doing some writing with bestie too.

- are seriously happy with playing hidden objects games for now. too busy with games, books and internet.

- dibah is back in malaysia but i got no free time to see her. though i am unemployed, my time still reserve at home.

- and first time followed L to do his photoshoot job. jadi minah interframe dlm gambar and tukang pegang cameraje pon. bahahah.

- last. I HAVE LOST MY SOUL TO 9GAG. thank you.

until then, have a great time of your life and goodbye :)

Wordless Wednesday #3

2011-11-30T15:03:00.004+08:00

pfft: damn forget to include the almost moon - alice sebold

Post Lambat : Dobot's Concert

2011-11-28T10:46:00.003+08:00

salam!

first of all,

salam awal muharam to all the muslims!

agak lambat utk wish but better late than never :)

so yeah, here are some pictures for Dobot's concert

last 2 weeks.

hamek kau. lembab gila nk update.

it was held at NIOSH Auditorium in Bangi.

not much to say, so enjoy :)

dobot is 5 years old already. how time flies right?

she will be graduating next year

eager finding us in the seat

spot where dobot was!

hint: she looks like Russian Teacup Lady

(they are singing the akhil haiiiii + mawi song)

i think they sing celine dion - i'm alive

or kiroro - bestfriend

can't quite remember

random kid being snap by me.

he was sad. sobs.

okay that just it.

my niece is getting good in reading both in english and bm.

but somehow, maybe the 'shy' blood is running in her vein too.

we told her to do story-telling or poem recitation

for her concert next year but she seriously denied it.

paham dow, aku pon tak nak if mak paksa dulu.

malu~

so till then, salam :)

Moment : Interview

2011-11-26T00:17:00.003+08:00

salam. wow, it's been very long since i crap in here. am not busy (penganggur nak busy apa der?) but am just totally lazy to update anything. and as am only hanging at home and get addicted with 9gag, so there are totally nothing to blog about.

oh except that i longed to update dobot's concert. will do after this post :)

so! Alhamdulillah, bersyukur saya kepada Tuhan kerana memberikan saya rezeki untuk dipilih diantara 15 orang yang berjaya mendapat 2nd phase PEP(tnb) interview. Mungkin juga saya dipilih kerana saya merupakan anak staff or kerana saya kanak2 uniten or bak kata merz 'WOW U MUST SHINE YOUR ASS OUT DURING THAT 2 DAYS!'. tapi mari kita berpijak di bumi yang nyata je lah, mungkin 2 kelebihan pertama itu yang membuka peluang sy lebih cerah lagi. who knows? i just assuming my ass out.

semua 15 orang yg berjaya tuh telah diberi time-slot masing2 which each person got their 30 minutes to be interviewed. and yours truly here got lucky number 6 who's time slot was at 10.45. i arrived quite early, thanks to L for fetching me at kepong and sending me safely at tnb HQ in bangsar. though the time slot given was at 10.45 but i get in the room around 11. here the fun part goes.

3 interviewers, 2 guys 1 lady. guys from ICT, lady from HR.

started off good, have some few laughs, talk about myself (been practicing that a lots). then the horror came. they flipped through my certificates and started to ask me LOTS about database, DB2, SAP. yours truly, being ignorant bitch like she always did, never studied ANY OF THEM. and tough luck when i just blabbered out that i LOVE database (which i really do) and one of the interviewer was a db admin in tnb -.- he even draw a db table and ask me to explain how to select this n that. luckily, it was a basic question, not lucky when they start to drill down more. but i did admit that it was my own mistake for not preparing enough about the database part. i did manage to answers all their questions with a smile on my face (i think i smiled but who knows how my expression goes? maybe as expression-less as bella swan?)

at the end of the interview, they said i look not very keen to have the jobs. sobs. a stab through the heart. i seriously dont know how to make an eager/desperate expression. i am darth vader padawan, no expression. sobs. so i just said to them 'dalam hati, memang saya nk sgt kot. tapi kalau tak diizinkan Tuhan and tuan tuan and puan rasa saya tak layak, saya redha'. talk in BM because i was kind of devastated. kecik la ati orang cakap aku tak serious or keen nk kerja tuh. how to show it in my face! how!

the horror doesnt end yet. they asked me to went upstairs and answers written test. pffzzt.

taktahu la weh apa aku jawab, ada boleh plak tanya coding html bagai? mana nak igt. siap boleh text cippy and tanya apa AJAX,SOA bla2. yang mmg aku taktaw jawapan, aku tulis je 'i never experience in using c#.net before.' jujur gila. pffzzt.

so! tuh je lah. that's all. first time i went to a horrifying interview. well i do admit it was my own mistakes for not preparing 100% for the interview. so now, fuh, i just could only wish and hope that everything is okay and i pass the interview and could own that tnb blue jacket. if bukan rezeki aku then, maybe rezeki aku kat tempat lain. wallahualam.

salam :)

psst: moment paling bangga time interview, bila dia tanya camne aku buat project aku. from scratch or what? HELL YEAH FROM SCRATCH DUDE! TAKE THAT! okay aku tak cakap camtuh tapi rasa bangga bila aku cakap yes, and dia angguk tanda kagum :D

Weekend : PEP 40

2011-11-14T17:52:00.004+08:00

salam! so, last weekend i was one of the luckiest among 4% of 8000 people to be selected for TNB : PEP Selection. got to admit, at first, i have no spirit and the will to go. it just, i took a rejection hard and i took lots of time before i can commit and put my focus on other thing. (got reject by a computer company ~~again~~ last 2 weeks).

but because there will be consequences of 2 years banned if i dont attend it, and after a series of encouragement by siblings n friends, i drove to ILSAS (hai uniten!) at 6.50 on saturday with my heart pounding nervously inside me all along the way. i reached uniten at 7.15 and park my car at residence and went to ILSAS with farehan and qema. they are among the luckiest 4% too, oh and not to forget another friend of us, hacippy.

nasiblah ada kawan2 yang lain jugak dapat ni, if tak memang mati kutu. aktiviti memang pack gila, non-stop. bilik dah r jauh dengan dewan makan, dengan bilik aktiviti, so harap2 kitorang dapat r mengurangkan berat badan selama 2 hari ni kan. lol. tapi maybe tak jugak sebab makanan memang sedap cuma, maybe chef dia kawan ngan brian masterchef sbb cam takde garam.

though ada cip, qema and han, tp kitorang tak sama group pon. cuma aku and han je yang bertuah dapat satu group, group H. semua perempuan so han agak kecewa di situ sebab takleh nak cari jodoh. lol.

banyak je benda nak di-share tapi otak and badan still lesu lah. kalau bole mmg nak cerita je camne qema on first morning dh buat first appearance dengan kisah sijil dia, camne aktiviti2 berlangsung dgn aku and han terngaga je tengok ahli2 group lain punya knowledge, camne aktiviti recreation kitorang yang though cam budak2 nya game tp entertaining gak r, and aktiviti essay yang buat kitorang semua hilang harapan, camne kitorang tak habis2 nak shake hand dengan kembar pengarah ytn so boleh mintak bayar 1% je loan, camne PHSY boleh dipanggil philosophy rather than psychology, dan lain2.

anyway!

it was a fun learning experience. i have great time and i got to learn a lot from all the activities and tnb recruiters. i also have done my best so, if i am not call for the next phase, aku redha. like they said, maybe it was not my destiny to be working with them. but am really hoping i could wear and own that 'blue jacket'. haha!

till then, salam :)

502th Post

2011-11-05T20:40:00.003+08:00

salam! bila tengok tajuk, terasa diri memang takde life sebab amek kau, 500 posts dah blog aku ni? followers harap berapa kerat (eh thanks follow ye :D ), isi pon tak menarik, gambar di-share pon hampeh, dan sekian. tapi sebenarnya, aku suka ber-blog, sebab bagi aku blog ni mcm peringatan utk diri sendiri. aku suka baca balik entry2 lama (lame/loser) sebab bila baca balik, nampak yang somehow, i changed throughout the years. bila baca balik, boleh nampak camne aku suka hilang kawan then kawan balik dgn orang yang sama which menandakan, aku ni bukanlah pendendam bebenor. bila baca balik, boleh malu sorang2 sebab buat entry merepek ataupon jiwang. haha!

aku adalah terfikir hari tuh nak bersara dari dunia2 social networking ni. ehem bajet dah tua sangat. tapi yeah, social networking buat aku penat dan menyedarkan diri aku ni mmg lifeless.

facebook - aku selalu emo ngan fb. selalu sangat. rasanya dah 2-3 kali aku deactivate and activate balik. loser mmg macam ni. aku emo sebab aku tak suka sebenarnya bila aku kena find out news of 'someone' through fb dulu. mcm, kau tak boleh ke msg or call and cerita kat aku dulu then baru habaq kat satu dunia? takdelah aku rasa left out. sedih taw. sobs. selain tuh, aku mmg tak suka fb. tapi sbb sole aktif fb, harus jugak on utk komunikasi ngan dia, and kawan2 lain jugak.

twitter - aku start twitter april 2011, skarang nov 2011 and aku dah ada 7500+ tweet. bayangkan takde kerjanya aku? sedih.

blog - aku seriusli amat sayang nak private or buang blog ni. sayang sangat!

last last bila difikirkan, biar je lah semua akaun ni. membantu juga kadang2 though sangat menyakitkan hati je most of the time. lagi2 dengan fungsi block/unfollow/unfriend, semua tuh mengeruhkan lagi relationship yg dh sedia keruh je. walaupon aku akui lah kat facebook aku ada block 2 manusia, sebab aku tahu dorang akan block aku if aku tak bertindak pantas. haha! and sedih taw sebenarnya bila kena block dengan orang. mcm, haram jadah sgt ke perangai aku smpai kena block? sobs.

ah. merepek dah ni. aku takde kerja sebenarnya. ada benda lain aku nak share tapi malas. skarang aktiviti pon harap main game tak habis2. mahu naik power spec. huhu.

okaylah, thanks baca.

salam :)

Wordless Wednesday #3

2011-11-02T23:09:00.002+08:00

@!@#!$@!$@#$%^&*%#^#@@**$@!!!!!

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3 Jobs to Pursue?

2011-10-31T15:32:00.004+08:00

last day of october! be gone! be gone!

oh.

this is my 500th POST!

WOOT WOOT.

hai. salam.

shero tag aku nampaknya. makanya, aku kenalah buat.

and disebabkan aku takde benda nk update,

so baik baik, it's okay.

.....................................

aku baru je spend 5 minit utk fikir apakah 3 pekerjaan

yang aku nak pursue.

mcm non-halal aku tak boleh fikir satu pon!

fine, adalah terfikir nak jadi doctor (merepek), seorang isteri (muntah),

cikgu (aaaaaaaaaaahahaha)

tapi.. argh otak takleh berfungsi! how!

okay lah okay lah. untuk shero tersayang, aku try lah juga.

SHERO NI KHAS UNTUK KAU OKAY.

1st Job

Database Administrator

maybe sgt cliche dengan aku baru je pergi interview utk

apprenticeship in database and bajet letak ni as no satu boleh buat

harapan aku utk berjaya ke peringkat seterusnya cerah sikit la kan?

but no, aku mmg nak kerja ni daripada first time

Puan Rina talked about it in my advance database class.

firstly sebab aku nak ialah, aku suka database.

selama 4 tahun aku belajar di uniten, hanya database je yg

berjaya menarik minat aku. laen? unrequited love.

2nd. though tag ni ckp 'if money doesnt matter'

but aku mata duitan and perlukan duit so yeah this job give a good paying income.

3rd. at least my interest and degree in IT wont go to waste.

2nd Job

Food Photographer

sapa yang follow blog ni, and sapa yang pernah pergi mkn ngan aku,

sesungguhnya mereka tahu bagaimana taksubnya aku dengan

mengambil gambar makanan.

and yes it is my passion also.

aku takleh stop tengok semua buku masakan and mcm mana

dorang boleh buat satu hidangan tuh jadi awhsome nak mati with

just one photograph. awhsome.

and it just satisfied me when people drool over my food pictures.

tapi bukan senang nk jadi food photographer ni.

banyak gila teknik kena belajar, and i am long way to go

to reach that perfection spot yet.

3rd Job

Game Tester

oh my oh my oh my

sapa yang tak nak der! dapat duit with trying out games!

best gila kot! spending countless hours of playing games je.

pergh pergh. seghonok tak terhingga.

tapi ini pon mcm wildest dream gila r sebab

well, aku agak slow utk finishkan game and aku cepat boring.

and aku memilih game.

aku tak maen sports game, aku tak maen RPG.

but yeah, i would like to try you know?

so itulah sahaja!

tak nak tag sapa2 sebab aku tahu yang baca blog ni pemalas2 semuanya.

ehem.

haha.

so till then.

salam.

499th Post

2011-10-29T14:52:00.003+08:00

salam.

i'm used to be good with words, i can't go rant about something 2-3 pages long (considering the page is A4 paper) and be satisfied with it and it makes me relieve. words help me release my anger, words help me get over my problems, words help me express how much i love someone, words help me discovering myself.

you can see how i am so confident blogging or twittering or commenting in english but when i start to talk, it all gone.

that is what happening to my words also. it's gone, it abandoning me little by little. i can't express my feeling into words anymore. when i begin to write something, it start okay and start to scatter in the middle and end horribly. i can't get into the real point of what i want to share first (you can witness the proof by reading my previous post).

something going on in my life right now. i shared it with some of close friends, but because we only communicating through chatting devices, or email/inbox only, i can't get to the points of what i am really feeling right now. i don't even know what i'm blabbering to them and it ends with they being right for being a good friend and i still in my worst condition.

i used to bitch and craps in my private blog wherever i feel depress and sad, but i can't do that even now. and now all these bad and dark feelings are lingering in my soul and i can't release them out. it's burdening me and no one seems to understand that, no one even seems to care.

i am not blaming people for my own problem but i am sad that people gives me heartache and leave me getting depress all alone.

i want to scream, but i dont know what i should be screaming for. i want to curse, but it still don't satisfied me enough. i want to type, so hard that i might just ruin the keyboard, but i dont know what i should write about.

i am sad. seriously sad.

i hope you are happy about this.

i'm out.

salam.

Music Evolution

2011-10-26T22:55:00.005+08:00

salam!

I always agree with this one saying that sound - 'every song could take you back to that one memory' something like that. can't quite remember the real quote though. but for me the meaning is, every song you love could take you back to that one specific year or memory where/when/why you hear it. so. i just want to share with you how my taste in music evolve. you might be surprises with my taste, i guarantee you that.

1989 - 1997

what la weh! i am still a baby and transforming into a very cute toddler during this period of time. but, the songs that i can remember that i hum along too was anything from Exist, Iklim and UB40. gerhana cinta luka always stuck in my head during this time and nowadays if I heard gerhana cinta luka, it will take me back to jambatan pulau pinang. i cant even remember why. and for ub40, i will be back in home and the stereo is blast off with can't help falling in love song and along are nowhere to be seen. haha.

1998 - 2000

still zaman kanak2 riang. first cassette i ever bought (yeah during my time kanak2, we still used radio cassette) was from Senario. first album of senario sangat awhsome okay? then second, Puji-Pujian from Raihan (raise your hand people if u own this album!). album nasyid ultimatum in malaysia. ada sampai 4 kot kaset raihan kat umh aku time tuh, the same album. pergh. then time darjah 4 camtuh aku byk dengar britney, christina and backstreet boys *lame* i remember i singing along to britney 'oops i did it again' in class with chun hoo *LOSER* siap compare2 christina is the better singer than britney (terpedaya juga dengan illuminati konspirasi hahahha)

2001 -2003

i was in my standard 6, i got to know merz. she introduced me to n'sync and for sure lah i fall in love with n'sync. i remember when we used to bring our walkman (takde mp3 player der time ni) to class and sing along to no string attached album during recess. then celebrity album went out and how we love DIRTY POP.

then i get bored with all the radio's song, and i went to awep's room and geledah his collection of cassettes and i attracted to Hybrid Theory cover. i listened to it, fall in love (hard) and hasut merz to listen to it every day until the songs finally took her over. that was the best year ever. the main memory that i will always remember is how we re-act the scene from in the end videoclip. lompat2 kerusi, conteng meja jadi turn table, penyapu jadi gitar, buat scene bukak pintu mcm mike (ke chester?). kelakar sangat. and how the both of us tiap hari tengok Channel V tengok top 5 nak pastikan 'In the End' no 1 or dirty pop by n'sync. haha.

form 1- form 2, meteora keluar. this was the year i got close with qitto, qeu and how niez and merz name was created. i was niez delson and the rest were qitto hahn, qeu shinoda and merz bennington (a'ah kami sangat loser time ni. haha!) but the first name kekal kot smpai skarang! nice.

2003 - 2004

i started to get bored with LP when they release re-animation. and after 'sesi menceroboh' awep's winamp in the pc, i found lots of new interest. this was the period when i get to know system of a down. first song i ever listen to by SOAD was 'Psycho' and immediately i become addicted to it and i listen to the rest of it tanpa jemu. I also listen to 'the strokes' and 'the vines' as i got friend who introduced them to me. and my favorite song during this time was also redline from shizuka. everytime i heard this song, it will take me back during that fasting month on 2003 when i fall sick badly. eh if i am not mistaken, i also did buy album from radja. u know this indonesia band? yeah their songs were kind of awhsome to me too. then when i was 15 years old, i 'stold' awep's greenday international hits CD and listen to it. yeah u guess right, i fall in love with them too. haha!

2005 - 2006

nothing much happened during this year, this was my zaman teknik. i still in love with SOAD and greenday. oh i was introduced to a.c.a.b by shahrul this time. then someone sang to me cinta pantai merdeka. bahahha! i still remember it clearly this one guy call me at the middle of the night (kantoi bwk henset kat asrama) and he sang me this song and i couldn't help myself from not laughing. after i said i need to sleep, i off the phone and laugh like crazy. HAHA. kejam sial. then when i got to know maizlan, he introduced me to panic at the disco and fall out boy. yeah fall out boy baru keluar time ni but their music never suit me well. but sbb nak layan maizlan gila, aku dengar jelah sbb leh dijadikan topik perbualan. then i got to know imam and azrel who their songs are more malay-ish and mcm2 band melayu aku tak pernah tahu, aku teros kenal. oh, first time pergi jamming ikot imam, azrel and shafiee budak mechy. pakai baju batik sekolah masok studio kot! gila. oh aku dgr evanescence jugak sebabkan mighul :)

2007 - 2010

hahh ini zaman uniten. i dont develop any new interest this time. i still deeply in love with SOAD but not that much with american idiot by greenday. then i started to listen to Sum 41 and fall in love with Deryck Whibley, boley? haha! oh time kenal fahmi, aku bnyak tahu lagu rock kapak juga mcm jemu by may, tawa dalam tangisan, mahligai dari air mata dll (hasil karaoke). then around 2008 kot? i started to listen to Korn and Slipknot and also Within Temptation. weh, terus jatuh cinta! serius and rasa menyesal gila babs sebab tak layan mereka awal2. and berapa banyak kali aku cerita kat merz pasal kemenyesalan aku ni. and disebabkan SOAD, aku kenal remi and he introduce me to scars on broadway and sbb SOAD gak r kitorang rapat. haha! then sebab stone sour and slipknot aku rapat dengan L (though sebenarnya dia tak layan sgt pon, saje nk cari point kenal aku. ceh) basically aku keep on repeating the same songs from the same band. malas nk discover band baru and time ni zaman usher berleluasa gak r.

2011

i am still the rocker me. aku dengar SOAD/Slipknot/Sum 41/Korn etc semua mostly sebab the music, the drum beat, the guitar riff, all of that astonished me good. And the lyrics, it captured me deep. New band yg aku discover this year pon harap A Day To Remember, ni after awep ajar dengar. and sebab dh tua (baru 22 je pon =.=") aku ada lah layan christina perri and adele bila down-emomomok. eh eh eh aku lupa! time praktikal aku layan Rage Against the Machine! hahah! and yeah, jatuh cinta lagi and menyesal tak kenal awal. haha!

so itu aja! bayangkan perubahan dari senario ke raihan ke britney (facepalm) ke nsync ke LP last2 hati aku bertaut dengan SOAD and Slipknot. and mainly kena thanks kat abg aku lah sebab kalau bukan dia maybe aku still dengar britney n nsync and kemungkinan besar aku layan justin bibiaq and selena ganaih skarang. oh tidak!

thanks for reading. bye2. (amek kau panjang gila. dh r dari english ke bm, hampeh)

psst: bila baca balik, banyak gak yang aku tak list mcm MIKA, incubus, maroon 5, spider, scissor sister. eh senang cer, rock2 aku pon, aku universal kot! just jgn harap aku nk layan autotune n justin bibiaq ye!

497th Post

2011-10-24T14:53:00.004+08:00

salam!

my blog was full with pictures updates (only) recently and i haven't talk much about any issues for a long time. ah well, i am still excited going through every pictures of my convocation :D can't never get bored with it. but, other people might become annoyed and puke if i keep on posting about my convocation day. right?

so. what have i been up to nowadays?

still looking for jobs. Alhamdullillah i got 3 calls from different company last friday. just unfortunately, none have been confirmed yet whether i got it or not. well i learned my lesson not to put any hopes after i dont nailed it with IBM (sad). other than that, not much happen in my life right now.

there are lots of topics i want to rant about but, my head went blank everytime i started to type anything serious. some of the topics that have been lingering in my head since before my convo (hamek kau lama gila) were "how to be a hijab fashionista" / "labelling", "bini material" , "movies reviews" , "series reviews" , "addiction" and bla bla bla. but yeah, i cant blog about it (malas pon salah satu factor juga)

anyway.

october is reaching it ends. i have a wonderful october ever. my convocation, reunion with awhsome friends from uniten, finishing assassin creed II (and craving for assassin creed : brotherhood now), went to a book fair, his birthday, no severe sickness (except for some ridiculous pain in my leg/hand), and spending time with bestie at her house (best hokey merzie masak kuey teow!)

nothing much to hope in november other than pintu rezeki terbuka untuk dapat kerja and sehat walafiat. insyaAllah :)

that's all.

salam.

Mia Familia

2011-10-22T11:25:00.005+08:00

salam!

time aku convo hari tuh, most of famili aku tak dapat hadir.

as, semua ada urusan and kerja masing2.

mula2 agak la berkecil hati (cewah)

tapi

aku jadi berbesar hati balik bila the next day,

semua sanggup bangun pagi on ahad before pukol 9,

untuk attend studio photoshoot demi aku :D :D

to get the whole family wake up early on sunday morning

and still looking good and happy for me,

seriously a big big bonus and presents for my convocation :D

so here are some of the pics!

mia madre <3

kanak2, lepas ni kami kena tunggu 17 tahun

utk tunggu next convo!

chu and maksu :)

my big family! love love

candid time :D

kaklong with jidan

bukan senang nak buat awep tersenyum ceria. haha!

dearest siblings and couzies <3

scene2 merepek di akhir photoshoot.

well, thanks a bunch to all of you guys who made my day.

and all of these wouldn't happen

if i dont have this awhsome photographer with me.

thanks L :D

so that's all.

salam :)

Happy 24th Birthday!

2011-10-20T15:56:00.000+08:00

dear L,

happy 24th Birthday

(cop kepunyaan konon2nya)

sorry I couldn't celebrate your birthday today :(

sorry for no presents :(

sorry couldn't make your day wonderful :(

I wish you all the happiness in the world

I wish you will have whatever you wish for

I wish you a healthy and joyful life

I wish you all the best :)

I promise you we will going to celebrate your birthday later okay?

I love you and Happy Birthday mr. broccoli! :D

Love <3

Mia Convocation

2011-10-17T11:39:00.003+08:00

15 October 2011

marks the day of the finale of my student years in Uniten

(perghhh dah bukan unihell!)

which is, my convocation day.

after 4 years of struggle, problems, joys, hardship,

finally I am a Degree Holder in IT

Alhamdullillah. Alhamdullillah.

countless thanks to Bonda,

for all her prayers for me to be a successful person

thanks to my siblings,

for all their guidance and words

thanks to my wonderful friends,

for all the wonderful memories we shared,

hatred and pain we consumed,

and we are still close after 4 years.

thanks to my lecturers,

for all their kind words and their teaching

and thanks to L,

for always be there for me.

though u came in a little bit late

during my years in uniten, u still meant a world to me

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL!

lepas ni kawen sila jempot, tuh je reunion paling senang.

HAHA.

my dearest havoc batch!

(ada yang takde jua, kami mmg sikit)

college of girls? haha!

with GM-ers too.

seronot!

wee hoo!

okay done!

aku nak upload byk2 gambo lagi tapi,

semua gambo takde ngan aku lagi der.

ni pon curik2 dekat fb.

so nnt aku update lg la with lotssssss of picta.

salam :)

Work?

2011-10-05T00:51:00.004+08:00

salam people!

before i proceed, my right hand is not that cured yet but a week without internet, really made me cranky!

so.

i realized lots of my friends have already started their career life. started to earn money. started to save money. started to become serious in their life. [oh congrats to ainrox for her permanent job! really happy for u :)]

while me? still in the honeymoon phase. dont want to do anything, just want to stay at home, watch movies and series, did FRIENDS marathon, growing panda eyes, growing fat ( gained 3kg, SAD), seriously i even think to continue all these activities and fuck work. oops.

but who the hell i think i am? a daughter to multi-millionaire mogul? an heir to a hotel legacy? soon-to-be-wife to some drug tycoon? eh a rockstar will be enough. well NO. as far fetched all of those mentions could have been, somewhere in my mind i do wish i am lucky enough to be that rich and don't have to work. haha!

now my money situation have reach little bit critical. not that critical, i could buy one more pair of shoes if i like but because of my position that is well known to be 'kedekot', i need to get paid. and that is the problem, i can't apply for job!

i have no confident in applying any jobs, i dont have any interest in IT field, i don't even know what to do with my life. *devastated* now why i even study IT if i know i hate it? shutup.

i dont know what to do seriously. i can't decide what my passion is. photography? baking? coding? writing? i can't decide!

sigh. well, my convocation is just around the corner and maybe i should start looking for job intensively after that. after all, i do plan with the other side of me to get married next year, i can't depend on him alone to save money right? :)

what i need from mia dear readers is, just some kick on the butt or some advice on my insecurities and my fear in applying job. this is the problem with person who have a very low self-esteem, they tend to think everything as impossible. do help me.

till then, salam :)

psst: thanks to farehan, i already applied one job opening in TNB. if not because of her, i wouldn't know about it. now let just wait for the answer. who knows i might be the one who will follow abah's step to work for tnb as arale already ditch them n work for unihell. HAHAHHA.

491th Post

2011-09-29T02:41:00.001+08:00

salam people!

okay this will be just a brief update on 2.33 am. lets bullet point for express update too.

- I cant on9 or specifically, done my social networking job as normal now as my right hand are swollen now. cant even touch a mouse, or do anythng with it at all. really bergantung harap dgn tgn kiri je now. so bye to fb (sims social noooo!!), twitter (once in a while yes using hp), blog hopping n pc games r totally out.

- got 2 more weeks before my convo day n really hope I will get better before that

- one of my friend going to perform her hajj next week, so happy for her :)

- finally I got my duit raya! n still counting as still did not get yet from awep n arale. pffzzzt.

- hoping to buy new shoes with someone paying for it

- gain 2 extra kg and I have lost hope to maintain my weight or even get skinny coz gaining 2 kg in a month could really kill u. seriously.

- and updating this using my mobile, so kiranya tgn dh ok sket sbb bole type using both hands. wish for my wellness!

- hoping could get friend n family vacation before the end of this year!

- not looking for a job

okay. till then, I miss everyoneeee and goodbye. salam! :)

490th Post

2011-09-17T14:45:00.002+08:00

okay aku tahu agak lama aku tak update blog. truthfully, aku malas and busy dengan sims social di FB. hahahhaha! aku banyak tengok movie juga and igt nak share kat sini tapi again, MALAS. what else, oh aku akan convo this upcoming 15th October and sangat terharu and sebak and gembira juga sebab segala hasil titik peluh aku di uniten dah selesai dengan satu kejayaan. :)

what is my next plan?

kerja? aahhahaha. still looking tapi tiada usaha nak mencari betol2. supposedly pergi job fair today tp merz ada hal, so maybe esok or maybe langsung tak pergi. dari bulan 8 excited kot nak gi job fair tapi ... ah tak payah nak mengadu domba kat sini. lantak lah dengan kerja, aku nak duduk rumah je dulu, takpelah takde duit, aku tak kisah pon. eh kisah tapi, bila lagi nak rasa cuti panjang before start career life bukan? :)

what else.

kawin? tunang? hurm, dengan keadaan aku tak bekerja, malas nak fikir. ada, ada lah. takde, tunggu je lah. lagipon benda ni bukan benda buat main macam ko decide nak makan kepci or tidak, ko kena decide betol2. ready or tak. sanggup ke ko nak korbankan freedom ko skarang utk jadi bini orang? sanggup ke kau utk taat and turut kata2 suami kau sedangkan most of the time cakap mak sendiri pon kau lawan? sanggup ke kau ketepikan semua kehendak n kemahuan kau and letak kepentingan suami ko dulu? banyak kan nak kena fikir? to be honest, aku dh start pon didik diri slow-slow utk benda ni. memang org ckp if nk kawen nak apa, duit kena ada. duit mmg boleh carik. tp mentally? emotionally? takkan dh kawen baru nk culture shock semua dh lain kan? semoga apa aku buat ni, adalah org nk hargai and nampak. hopefully.. though i doubt bout it sometime.

anything else?

oh. aku bercadang nak carik shrink kat malaysia ni. ada ke? why? sebab aku rasa aku ada bipolar disorder. ni bukan segmen mencari simpati readers tp mmg dr dulu aku rasa aku ada prob dengan emosi aku. lagipon, sendiri mahu decide yg sendiri ada mental disorder sgt lah tak pasti kan? tengoklah macam mana. heh. nape eh aku ckp aku ada bipolar? sebab aku boleh jadi happy 100% and tiba2 turn down jadi negative 100% dalam masa yg sangat kejap and it's killing me seriously.

oh.

aku selalu cakap kat someone yg dalam hidup kau, last2 kawan2 ni tak penting sangat. sbb apa yang penting ialah famili yang kau bakal cipta nnt dgn org pilihan kau. sbb mereka tuh lah yang akan ada dengan kau sampai mati, anak2 kau lah yg akan doakan kau ketika kau bertarung azab dlm kubur. maybe dengan pemikiran macam ni membuatkan aku mmg jarang carik member2 and ajak berjumpa. sebab tuh sampai skarang yg hanya lekat dengan aku hanya yg paling rapat, yg tahu worst side of aku, yang nama mereka dah berpuluh kali aku mention kat blog. and now aku rasa, maybe itulah famili aku kot? walaupon mungkin dorang akan lupa doakan aku time aku mati, tp at least time aku hidup, they never stop making me smile and always be there for me when i'm in need. Alhamdullillah aku masih ada kawan2 yg sangat aku sayang sampai habis nyawa aku.

last.

dari hari raya hari tuh aku berfikir pasal mati. sampai dengar org mengaji Al-Fatihah pon aku boleh menangis. aku risau, mana tahu tah2 time aku dh smpai? or someone close to me. wallahualam. and turn out, smalam, tok saudara aku di perak meninggal dunia (al-Fatihah). walaupon aku tak rapat dengan arwah, walaupon time hidup dia, dia mungkin mmg tak kenal aku ni anak intan, tapi somehow memori childhood aku mmg byk juga tentang dia. maybe sbb tuh aku asek fikir pasal mati kot? somehow, bila aku asek terfikirkan pasal mati, or rasa nyawa aku tak panjang, turn out mesti someone yg aku sangat kenal akan pergi. at least aku bersyukur sebab Tuhan masih nak bagi aku peringatan ttg azab neraka and betapa sikitnya amal aku kat dunia ni.

okay.

dari malas2 nak update blog, teros berjela! aku sedang stress and tension dengan satu makhluk Allah ni tapi aku sampai tahap terlalu marah yg aku takleh nak express kemarahan aku dalam bentok apa pon, even tulisan even blogging. takpelah, dpt membebel macam di atas ni pon dpt mereleasekan tense sikit kot? :) okay till next time, have a good time of your life people :)

salam.

psst: smalam masa pegi kubur di parit, dapat ziarah kubur arwah abang eli sekali and juga onyang dan lain2 ahli keluarga uda mat ali yang dh pergi. oh, best juga dpt balik perak smalam sbb dpt minum kopi kawwwww gila favorite aku :D

Aidilfitri 2011

2011-09-05T01:17:00.002+08:00

salam!

i don't produce any kad raya for this year.

KEMALASAN.

so, this year raya was AWHSOME indeed.

not much to tell.

so just enjoy some pics hokey?

ah warning!

aku memang nampak GEMOKS.

bajet2 buat style loose shawl tp last2 jadi gemok.

hahahahha.

(lari)

mia big familia <3

LL's Clan! <3 <3

dearest siblings :)

tahun ni tak dpt snap byk2 sbb limited time.

orang datang beraya awal pulak tahun ni.

but the pics were great and i could only edit 3 out of 100+

because of my laptop condition.

senang overheat :(

kena edit sbb smue pics were taken in RAW format.

so.

till we meet again.

salam!

Wordless Wednesday #2

2011-08-24T14:48:00.002+08:00

source : tumblr

*died slowly*

Memories : Zaman Teknik

2011-08-23T09:39:00.005+08:00

Salam!

Semalam kat twitter heboh with this hash tag

#DiAsramaSayaBelajar

so lots of people chip in their memories and so did me :)

membuatkan minda aku ligat mengingati zaman duduk asrama :D

got to say my years in teknik was awhsome indeed.

though lots of embarrassing moments happened to me,

but there were still precious and unforgettable events

that i will never ever ever forget.

1. Aku memang tak boleh lupa bila budak2 dorm aku semua pakat taknak bangun pagi ahad pergi sarapan kat DM. Dulu kitorang as junior wajib pergi semua sesi makan kat DM, takleh skip. Time tuh senior2 dorm aku dh bebel2 tp kitorang buat bodoh je tido. Budak dorm aku baik2 belaka, kecuali arin n aku yang gila. So dapat rebel sket mcm tuh pon buat aku bangga dengan yg lain. haha! Eleh dorg bebel sbb takde sape nak tapaukan nasi lemak utk dorg. Pemalas.

dormmates <3

2. Roll-call dorm. Benda aku paling benci. Bila senior nk buat roll-call, aku dh get ready awal2 mental and emosi aku. Sebab aku taw aku lah manusia yang bakal di-up oleh perempuan2 gila tuh. Alasan paling main, "muka kau macam sial kan, tak reti nak senyum, sombong, apsal, hidup kau senang sgt ke kt KL tuh nk berlagak?" hai pijot hai farah, sampai mati aku tak akan lupakan ayat korang :) Then pernah kena maki sbb budk dorm sendiri back-stab aku. Fuuuu.

3. Rumble! The only rumble yg aku pernah join was on Shelly's Birthday. Memang seronok, air nila campor telor campor colgate campor syampoo then kena baling tepong lagi. Pergh, mmg seronot. Ikat Shelly kat ampaian then apa lagi, rumble time! Seronot dow time tuh :)

4. Histeria. Ni time aku form 4. Senior2 aspuri gatal dok main kacau2 org lain dgn pakai topeng glow in the dark tuh. Then rupa2nya mmg ada benda lain dok join sekali. Aku dah r penat baru abes prep nk tido awal bagai, free2 kena turun surau ramai2 baca yassin utk hok tine tuh.

5. Brothers. Eh bukan abang angkat. But, kawan2 lelaki yang aku anggap mcm adik bradik dh time teknik dulu. Acab, Apuz, dan A'an. Dorang bertiga memang yang paling baik ngan aku. Paling concern, teman bergaduh, teman merepek, teman study. Semua. Time aku kecewa tonggeng2 kena reject ngan budak 5e2 tuh, dorg r bagi smangat. Time aku sakit n hilang, dorang r yg concern dok cari. Time aku minat sapa2 pon budak aspura, dorang la paling menyebok nk tolong kenenkan (bahahhaha!). Penglipur lara terbaik aku time zaman teknik! :)

apuz.asrap.a'an

yours truly muka mcam haram tak seswai utk tontonan umum

6. Dorm 12 gila. Budak dorm aku didominasi oleh budak2 baik. SERIOUSLY. lemah lembut, senyap, buat hal masing2, kecuali, ye kecuali arin yang gila (aku pon sikit lah). Byk r memori dgn budak dorm, takleh nk ckp sbb byk sgt! Just paling indah bila dh time2 nk spm. Bila junior semua dh balik. Kitorang rapatkan katil, tidur ramai2, kadang2 letak tilam kat bwh. Siap erma bwk pizza bg kitorang mkn ramai2. Main game bukan2 dlm dorm mcm budk kecik sbb nk hilangkan stress SPM. Then paling terharu, selama 2 tahun kat situ, kitorang tak pernah miss gi makan kat DM sekali. :') RINDULAH WEH!

dari dulu i tak reti lilit2 bagai ni ye!

7. Ponteng prep. Pergh ni banyak kali je buat. Selalunya prep petang lah. Port menyorok pon mesti bawah katil or dlm locker, taknak aunty shima jumpa. HAHA! Tapi paling havoc, bila mastom buat spot check. Habis bergegar satu aspuri time tuh sbb ramai giler tak gi prep! Semua yg kantoi dibawa ke court utk disebat. Ehem, yours truly selamat sebab menyorok belakang towel besar sape tah kat ampaian. Terbaik!

8. Aku pernah doa kuat2 dlm dorm "Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku orang teraniaya, kau gagalkan lah SPM org2 yang menganiaya aku tuh Ya Allah kalau mereka tak berhenti2 menyusahkan aku" serius aku buat. Erma ko igt tak? Sampai si yani,farah,pijot terdiam langsung tak bercakap ngan aku? HAHAHHA.

9. BDK! oh my siapa duduk STTJ and taktaw BDK boleh pergi bunuh diri! Burger Daging Kentang. Makanan ruji budak2 hostel yang dikirim kat guard aunty shima. If kau join group2 mintak order mlm2, selalunya dpt makanan2 FOC. nasi goreng pataya la, air tembikai la, mcm2. seronot. Kalau tak cukup duit, selalunya aku masok je dorm2 budak lain buat muka kasihan. and selalunya, memang langkah kanan sbb mesti membe2 tgh makan n ajak join. bahahaha!

10. Outing! Tak ke ampangan, or terminal 1 or seremban parade. lolol bosan gila. selalu outing ngan budak dorm je r, kurg gi ngan budak kelas. oh pernah sekali, aku keluar dating ikot kawan gi jamming. bahahha! bongok. malu ai kantoi ngan budk2 lain. apa cer mmt tuh? hidup lg ke eh? haha! oh aku tak pernah tukar baju batik ke baju biasa, sbb aku mls nk masok toilet tukar2 baju.

11. Warden. Warden zaman aku dulu sah2 ada Radin, Ustazah Poji, Oni, Mastom, and ada lah lagi yang aku dh lupa. though warden2 kitorang mmg garang giler tp seriously mereka yang terbaik. Dorang care psal kitorang, and marah2 tuh tanda sayang je :D And last perhimpunan dengan Radin dulu, aku igt lagi dia ckp batch kitorang mmg takkan boleh dpt lagi dh. We are the best batch :) bangga siot! oh muka aku femes ngan radin sbb slalu tidor dlm bengkel PKA depan opis dia n muka slalu mintak balik. haha. papa aku eh sbb mata panda kami sama. lolol

12. 10 budak hitam. Ni bajet nama geng aku la dulu. Aku, Pnut, Jijah, Didi, Napi, Umi, Lina, Bella, Shelly, Syida. kitorang ni semua double face. bahahha! gadoh takyah cakap la mmg terok tapi bila buat kerja gila or apa2 memang selalu bersama. resam la kot kalau gadoh kan? oh plg best ramai2 masok pertandingan nasyid and kalahkan budak2 lelaki letrik! hahaha!

most of us. lain mana tah.

13. Scandal. dah aku taknak komen lebey lanjut. bangang bila igt balik. BANGANG.

14. Classmates. aku dulu 4A3 n 5A2. so kawan bertukar2. time form 4 aku kurang berkawan sbb masalah sket. tuh aku rapat sangat ngan 3 makhluk yg disebot kat atas. time form 5 baru berkawan secara betol sket. dapat kenal lg ramai org, rapat ngan semua. kenal maizlan yg gila yg slalu kacau aku. kenal azrel si pendiam gila babeng tuh. bertambah rapat ngan lily, ikin, ain, dan lain2 (terlupa nama jap). rebut surat khabar ngan acab ngan amin. tidur beramai2 dlm kelas dengan song ngan syida. shobss. byk sgt nice memories :') jamuan kelas yg havoc lagi, dengan suara imam yang terbaik. aih.

classmates yg awhsome.

15. Junior. malas r nak cerita. macam dorang igt aku pon? haha! oh tp ada sorang follow aku kat blog ni. rite azleen? (baca ke pong? bahahaha)

okaylah! banyak benor dah dok bercerita pumpangpumpang kat sini. kalau nak ikot memang byk lagi nak cerita tapi takpayah lah. saje nak ingat2 balik zaman yg best time ni. zaman yang banyak ajar aku tentang ragam manusia, pemilihan kawan yang betol, lelaki2 durjana, berdikari, defend diri, ajar diri jgn mental sgt dgn senior/junior, gaduh, nangis, macam2 lagi lah.

aku tinggalkan STTJ tahun 2006. now dah 2011. 5 tahun dah berlalu rupanya. dan dalam banyak2 nama kat atas aku mention, sekerat je aku jumpa. tak sampai sekerat. semua dah bawa haluan masing2. nanti another 5 years, aku buat memories kat uniten pulak :D haha!

so till then, salam :)

till then tuh till next post ye, bukan till next 5 years. apa kau gila?

Grazie Molte :)

2011-08-22T10:28:00.003+08:00

Salam!

This post is meant for those who remember and

wish for my 22nd birthday.

Grazie Molte :)

from FB

luckily I hide my birthday or I might get more wishes than this.

(P.E.R.A.S.A.N)

nnt paling annoying, dapat 'HB' je.

so for those in the picture above,

seriously thank you for remembering

or took that effort to wish because you saw other people did in the news feed.

thank you so much :)

from twitter.

i love my twitter friends because they are the AWHSOME!

and not forgetting those text messages from friends n family :)

Ahjelan <3 , Merzie, Erma, Farah, Ainrox, Qema, Raihanah, Nalini,

Dibah (jaoh dr aussie ni!) , Pika , and Mun :)

and calls from kakyang and debab too.

my birthday was not much this year.

didn't celebrate it pon.

but the thoughts and wishes did put a wide smile on my face

for that day.

and for present,

i got early present from bonda.

a bag :D

and you know what L gave me on the previous post.

and still waiting from kakyang + kaklong.

though it was not much, but I am still grateful

because I got to live until now.

Alhamdullilah.

so again,

Thanks Everyone! :D

I am Cruel + Awhsome This Way

2011-08-15T10:26:00.007+08:00

Salam!

Hai Hai Hai.

Today marks the 15th of Ramadhan.

which meant, we got another 15 days left of this wonderful holy month.

jangan excited sangat nak raya bai,

patutnya kau sedih sebab Ramadhan nak berakhir dah.

ah, malas nk buat puasa talk's, takde sambutan pon.

pergh, berkata macam blog femes sgt.

anyway....

dulu FB aku selalu kena kecam sbb mengancam

keimanan membe2 di bulan Ramadhan.

well, aku kan suka snap gambar2 makanan yg awhsome?

tapi disebabkan aku dah kurang la nk ber-FB,

ber-twitter je reti (ehem)

so aku takdelah upload dh gambar2 yummeh kat FB.

tapi...

mai lah mai lah layan gambar2 di blog!

>:))

Black Pepper Chicken Chop : Garden, One Utama

Lamb Shoulder (kot?) : Chilis, One Utama

Ayam Penyet : Ojo Lali, Kota Damansara

Chips! : Chilis, One Utama

Caesar Salads : Chilis, One Utama

Mushroom Jack Fajitas : Chilis, One Utama

Spaghetti Carbonara : Garden, One Utama

hasil tangkapan sebelum puasa n also during puasa.

so how?

terliur tak? yummeh tak? awhsome tak?

hahhaaha!

maafkan aku yang bersifat kejam time bulan puasa ini.

oh.

neway, before i end this delicious+yummeh post,

last 11 August 2011 / 11 Ramadhan 1432 was my 22nd birthday.

got tons of wishes (will reveal who in later post)

and birthday gifts from mia corazon <3

so here are them :)

cupcakes! from Dolie Cupcakes.

notice that 2 little comel cupcake that represent us?

okay i don't look like that but that was my YM avatar :)

and special custom made album of us :D

just a sneak peak.

malu aku nak share byk2 plak kan.

okay till then,

Salam :)

69.

2011-08-13T00:22:00.002+08:00

if you're still here,

you will be 69 years old today.

it have been 17 years since you left us.

and there is no one moment that i forget you.

though u r so far away,

u are always in my thoughts, in my heart, in my prayers.

though u left me when i know nothing,

when i can't remember anything,

but Alhamdullilah, Allah still give me that chance to

remember your loving smile.

and I hold on to that memory forever,

because that's the only thing I can remember.

your smile.

i'm getting sad because i really miss u,

and i envy all of them for having all that wonderful memories.

when i don't.

it's okay.

it's already happened, and no one can turn back time.

i hope next year on your birthday,

i will be more stronger than now. :)

i love u and i miss u a lots, abah.

Al-Fatihah.

Puasa Talk's #2

2011-08-08T10:16:00.002+08:00

Salam semua! Today mark the 8th day we are fasting for this Ramadhan. So we meet again for another Puasa Talk's. And today, it will be about motivation.

In life, most of us need something or someone to motivate us to do something better. Motivation for me also is like a trigger to push me to do something. Like for instant, maybe you need a push by someone to make you pursue your dream in being a celebrity. To push you to try out that audition, to push you to just sing out in front of everybody and ensure you that everything going to be okay, and to remind you how your rewarding your life will be if you made it to be a well-known celebrity.

Doesn't all of us have that kind of push from someone? Or don't?

How about something? Maybe someone can be motivate by a recent event happening to him. Like, his friend scored for dean's list three times in a row, and from there, it trigger him to do better in his studies. To at least taste how it feels like to have a dean's list even once in his student's life. Or something, she really want that Channel 10k beg, and by hook or by crook, she will definitely going to have it. So she study better, try to get a better result, land in a awhsome-paying job or maybe she will strive to make herself look more beautiful and urban so an anak datok will notice her (or maybe dato'/tan sri teros) and walla, she got the beg.

whaddaya think he motivation is in this race?

to have fun or to win?

What is your motivation? What is your trigger button?

For me, my motivation always based on an event. A devastating event. If my life was happy and full of bunnies and rainbows throughout the years, I don't think I will be on where I am now (Though I am just a fresh grad with no transcript and seriously not in the mood to seek for a job or continue this internship). For example, I did remember my first year of degree, nothing much happening to me that time. I was happy and enjoying my times with friends, exploring new place, and I neglected my studies. Then boom, bonda's car was stolen under my care, I lost some friends, I became superbly negative, I crack and break-down, and it was up to me to stand on my feet back and get through all the shits. All that shits that happening to me motivate me to do better, you can call it 'kesedaran Tuhan bagi bila nikmat dh kena tarik' but that was a motivation too right? And I am grateful to get that kind of motivation straight from Allah. From there, I climb up slowly, restructuring my circle of friends, do better for my studies and so.

For me, I don't need a person to tell me to be better or what. To do good or such. Because I am such a hard-headed person I never listen to people (okaylah sometime I am obliged to listen). I do things on my way. I motivate myself to be better. Train myself to be envious to other people's achievement. Hey being envy got it benefits okay. Bukan busuk hati or hasad dengki, but it motivate you to reach for that someone success. To push yourself and show people that you can do it. Yeah, that is my motivation. As I grew up with expectation and always compared to other people, I always want to try my best to be the best among the best. Another thing is, I think the best revenge for something is to show people how you are much more well without them. Right?

I have some friends who could only be motivated by a person. A significant other. They only have that motivation when someone push them to do better, but what happened if that person is gone? Do they just want to sit around and wait for another person to come into their life and do better? I want to ask them these sometimes 'What happened if that person walked out from your life? You shrunk down and died?' but of course I can't. Lain orang, lain caranya bukan?

So for this Puasa Talk's, I just want to share some thoughts about this topic of motivation. Actually, all of us already have that push, we already have that motivation since we are born. Our religion, Islam. Yups, that is our truly real motivation. To be a better Muslim, to seek for Allah forgiveness, to seek for Allah blessings, to taste heaven when we die. So why you need people, things, or events to motivate you when there are already greater motivation showed in front of you since you were born? Why you need to study better? Not because you want a good paying job or buy a channel beg or buy EF lens 200-700mm, no. Because to gain knowledge as that what our religion asked us to do, to have knowledge. Why we need to get jobs? So we can give to the poorer with zakat, so we can give foods and shelter to our family (for the guys), so we can performed our Hajj, and else. We have to get our nawaitu straight on the track back people.

Because no matter what we do in our life, in the end, what matter most, is the afterlife and Allah. :)

psst: Puasa Talk's mainly to remind myself (muhasabah diri) and in the same time, sharing cent of my thoughts with this blog readers (if they existed).

Puasa Talks #1

2011-08-03T09:33:00.003+08:00

Salam, hari ni hari ketiga dah kita berpuasa. Seperti kebiasaan yang aku buat pada bulan Ramadhan tahun lepas, aku akan cerita tentang perkara2 yang molek untuk tontonan umum pada bulan2 puasa ni. So, tahun lepas aku dah cerita pasal friendship, nawaitu, dugaan Tuhan, perbelanjaan untuk raya, dan pebenda tah lagi. Tahun ni otak aku agak karat sikit sebab biasa r, manusia tiada life, takde benda yang nak di-observe sangat pon. But, takpe2, aku try la.

Let's talk about Jiran (neighbor)

“Empat perkara daripada tanda kebahagiaan ialah perempuan yang solehah, tempat tinggal yang lapang dan jiran yang baik serta memiliki kenderaan yang selesa dan empat tanda daripada keburukkan (kesusahan atau derita) ialah memiliki jiran yang jahat, isteri yang tidak baik, serta tempat tinggal yang sempit dan kenderaan yang buruk” Hadith dari riwayat Ismail ibn Muhammad ibn Saad ibn Abi Waqas daripada bapanya daripada datuknya

Mana ada orang yang hidup tanpa jiran betul tak? Semua orang ada jiran, semua family involved in a community, memang kehidupan kita tak boleh lari daripada tidak berjiran. So, apa yang dimaksudkan as jiran yang baik? (ini solely dr pendapat n observation aku je! if bercanggah ngan pendapat korang, silap saya)

1. Tidak bermuka-muka dengan jiran sekeliling

Ini bukan untuk jiran je, dengan semua orang pon kita kena praktikkan benda ni. Kau suka ke jiran kau depan kau punya lah baik, pijak semut pon tak mati, tapi dengan jiran tetangga yang lain, dia mengata kau tak reti masak lah, kau malas angkat kain lah, kawasan rumah kau semak tak bersapu lah, ada kau nak? Tak bagus perangai macam ni, lagi2 kalau jiran tuh sebelah-menyebelah or depan-belakang, Benda macam ni boleh memecah-belahkan perhubungan je. Kalau betollah jiran tuh tak reti masak, malas sapu sampah, diamkan aja or if nak lagi baik, tegur secara elok, contoh 'Peah, pokok mangga kau ni banyak betol luruh daunnya ye, sampai ke rumah aku kadang2. Kalau buah dia yg masok perkarangan rumah aku, rezeki jugak kn? Huhu' okay sarcastic nak mampos, tapi pandai2 korang lah nk tego dgn cara yang baik.

2. Tidak merendah2kan jiran

Okay ni bukanlah maksud aku kalau jiran kau lagi pendek dr kau, kau pergi ejek 'ee pendek, ee rendah, ee hobbit, eeeeee' NO. Maksud point nombor 2 ini ialah, merendah-rendahkan capability jiran yakni boleh membuatkan hatinya tergores luka lantas runtuhlah perhubungan antara jiran. Selalunya perkara ni berlaku if korang ada jiran yang berlagak or tak sedar diri yang mereka tuh hampeh. Or, senang cerita, BODOH SOMBONG. contoh situasi yang boleh aku bagi lah.

Kak Y: anak saya si M tuh belajar dekan institusi pendidikan yang diiktiraf kerajaan. bagus dapat belajar kat tempat2 kerajaan ni, baru lah betol. tak tipu. lebih maksum dari budak2 yang belajar kat institusi swasta. bukan boleh percaya dengan swasta2 ni, tah2 tak diiktiraf.

-sedangkan anak jiran dia tuh belajar di institusi swasta, sedap mulut je dia cakap macam tuh. though dia tak tunjuk lah dia mengata anak jiran dia, but in deeper meanings, she did.

Kak Y: anak saya si S tuh kerja sebagai cikgu sekarang. saya tegur dia smalam, jangan nak bercampur dengan budak2 takde arah ni, dia tuh cikgu, dia ada maruah. jangan nak bercampur dengan orang bukan kerajaan. maruah kenalah jaga ye tak?

-sedangkan anak jiran dia tuh, kerja sendiri. ma'sum sangat ke kerja kerajaan?

3. Jangan bermasam muka dengan jiran didalam majlis komuniti

Bayangkan kawasan kejiranan kau ada buat majlis berpuasa, or pergi terawikh je la senang cerita kan. Then korang pon salam2 la jiran2 or entah sapa yang ada, mesti mak korang ajar kan 'maniskan muka dengan senyuman even tak kenal orang tuh'. tiba2 tup tup smpai nak salam jiran depan rumah kau, dia tarik muka semasam cuka pastoh siap nk tak nak je salam. mesti kau sentap kan? even kau tak puas hati pon dengan jiran kau, tapi if di khalayak ramai, tak perlu lah nak behave macam budak kecil. if orang lain perasaan perangai tak senonoh kau tuh, kan dh jadi buah mulut orang nnt? kan ke memburuk2kan keadaan pon? lagi2 if keadaan ni dlm surau, time tgh selawat nabi orang dok salam2 semua. Tengah selawat nabi kot, itu pon nak berperangai macam tutt? isk isk. Takesahlah apa persengketaan yang berlaku antara kau n jiran, tapi maniskan je muka dengan senyuman. senyuman tuh sedekah pon, at least dpt pahala drpd menambah dosa ye tak?

eh kalau ikot banyak je aku nak bebel lagi tapi cam dh super panjang je post ni? mcm lah ada orang rajin nk baca panjang2. pokok pangkalnya, kita ni hidup bukan sorang2 or dengan famili je or dengan significant other je, there are lots of people around us. mmg susah nak jaga hati semua orang tapi berpada-padalah dalam segala hal yang kau buat. lagi2 tang jiran. org yg ko hadap tiap kali kau keluar dr rumah. mcm aku, aku duduk kawasan cina, mmg nyaman. tak kacau orang, baik2 je cina2 kat tempat aku. yang melayu sekerat ni je suka buat hidup famili aku tak aman. aih, senang cerita, treat lah orang mcm mana kau nak orang tuh treat kau. if kau taknak dia kacau hidup kau, then senang cite, takyah nak kecoh2 pegi bergaul ngan jiran kau tuh. cukup sekadar senyum, bila terserempak depan rumah. senang cerita.

okay. that's all. salam :)

Post Lambat : Dobot Sport's Day

2011-08-02T11:39:00.009+08:00

Happy Fasting people of earth!

today already the 2nd of Ramadhan.

Alhamdullilah we are still given the opportunity by Allah

to meet this Ramadhan again :)

so so lets get back to business shall we? okay, last 24th of July, we went to Eya nursery sport's day. she was really insisting that we come to see her participate in the event. so, though i am so tired for non-stop activity during the weekend, awep, bonda and me drove to bangi pagi2 keledek hari ahad. we arrived there around 9.15 or something and the event was just starting. there are two groups, which the first one for kids age range from 4-6 and the other are for kids age range from 2-4. the games varies from lari dalam guni, bouncing animals, bla2. (honestly, i don't know what the games were called, *noob*) so, eya was kinda lucky because she got two photographers capturing all her moments (macam artis dah bai). well so does the other kids as most of the parents and family there are holding DSLR and snapping here n there. semua dah jadi photographer kan skarang? last, cakap banyak2 takde guna, lets layan some pics. (pics bukan dlm keadaan teratur ye)

hannah montana nursery.

eya called ana Montessori as hannah montana.

eya's first game.

sewing something.

prize giving ceremony.

pic credit to L.

hanging out konon2 macam kat oversea.

muka dihitamkan kerana hodoh yg melampau.

Eya's in tarik tali.

yups, she the biggest among them.

with opah.

credit to L.

bawa telor dalam sudu.

random snaps by me.

lari dalam guni.

rambut tuh mahal!

excited budak ni. suka sports gamaknya :)

the other photographer, L.

okay that's it. there are lots of pictures taken by L too but he still doesn't give me the copies. and picture quality looks like some kind of haprak pictures because thanks to blogger. click for better view. what else, oh, my niece, she hates sports i think. haha! she doesn't have that spirit of sportsmanship inside her. lari macam nak tak nak, muka takmau senyum, tapi bila makan aiskrim dia suka. haha. anyway, it was a nice day instead, and all of us head to Ayam Penyet Seksyen 15 to have lunch. oh.. ayam penyet.. puasa.. ooooh *drool* till next time, salam :)

Post Lambat : U10 Girlfriends

2011-07-29T10:43:00.002+08:00

okay, hari tuh bersamaan 20 July I guess, aku amek cuti untuk suka-suka hati lah nak becuti pon. eh tak. no no, aku amek cuti sebab nak ke uniten untuk hantar report LI bagai. so before bergerak awal2 ke uniten pon, the night before aku dah inform sapa2 yang berada di uniten yang aku bakal melawat mereka di sana if dorang free. so ada la lagi certain yang masih berlegar2 di uniten tuh (sayang sgt kat uniten ada certain2 org tuh kan) , and we set to meet up for lunch.

rabu tuh aku bangun lambat gak r sebab the night before aku pulun siapkan report sampai pukul 4 pagi. then before 11, aku dah gerak gi bangi. pergi bangi sebab nak amek tuan puteri dekat rumah dulu. aku dah msg, dah call, dah misscall henpon tuan puteri tuh indicate aku dah nak smpai rumah dia tapi tak berangkat2 pon telepon, msg pon tak balas. last2 aku call umah, ini pon after aku found out loceng rumah dia tak berfungsi. takde baik aku nak jerit2 panggil dia plak kan. sekali rupanya, tuan puteri tak mandi lagi! boleh plak bersenang-lenang depan tv lagi kan. sabor je lah aku. after 5-10 minutes (mandi cam kambin la tuh) , baru gerak gi uniten.

okay kat sana aku antar report dulu la kan. eh kenapa aku cerita panjang sgt mcm korang give a damn aku post pon? bahahaha! senang cer, aku hantar report, amek hana and amy-yangcomel and meet up with cippy, bal-bal, and meah kat Taste, Bangi. gedik benor kan aku pilih tempat mahal2 je, mesti mereka jaki je dengan choice aku. bahahha. ala sekali sekala kan! after lunch, balik, hantar balik hana dan amy-yangcomel and gerak balik umah tuan puteri dulu before pergi alamanda utk high tea. pergh, high tea. poyos. okay, dah la tuh, byk sgt words. if aku jadi korang pon, aku malas nak baca panjang2. no? layan gambar dulu!

bal-bal jangan marah aku letak gambar ni

pinjam lens ahjelan, tuh wide semacam

masing2 seronot dengan makanan

group myspace shot!

suka lah gambar ni though aku prefer

muka aku tanpa gigi.

yes macam ni. kan cantik sikit rupa?

ahjelan pon tak lari. haha!

high tea di 'resepi rahsia'. tuan puteri belanja.

hasil melantak dua anak dara. dua orang je.

tapi makan macam ber-empat. tgk size lah!

so that's all r. seghonok dapat jumpa rakan2 perempuan di uniten after 3 bulan memerap kat kota damn tgk muka foreigner je. semoga dapatlah berjumpa lagi dikala aku grad bulan 10 ni, insyaAllah. or maybe time aku berkenduri tahun depan? EH EH. menyimpang! hahahahah! doakan je lah. oh dorang kat atas ni setahu aku semua available lagi ye, kecuali tuan puteri tuh lah. so agak2 berkenan nk jadikan permaisuri di hati ke, jangan segan silu tanya aku okay? hehe!

and last, kanak2 yang berada dalam gambar di atas, if nak gambo without watermark, sila bgtaw. nnt aku upload kat FB. oraito? salam :)

Wordless Wednesday #1

2011-07-27T11:54:00.002+08:00

Talking About Relationship #2

2011-07-25T09:48:00.004+08:00

From all fights and arguments I ever had with L, Alhamdullilah, it was never about a third person. Yes we fought a lots, we went through a break-up (fine lah 2 minggu je but it still painful okay), we hurt each other like we just don't give a fuck about ourselves, we feed our ego too much, we sulked, and we get selfish and ignore the other one needs, but it was never about a third person. Okay maybe sometimes I got insecure over his ex, but that was a different story. End.

Ah, it was really simple for me, if I ever found one there is a third person, please be ready to hear my goodbye for good.

I am thankful because though I only trust him for 90% (you have to keep that 10% for u!), I know he never go to that extend to cheat on me.

And me? He could trust me 100% if he wanted too, he could trust me 50% if he wished. But I could guarantee him, I will never cheated on him, I will never flirt with someone else on his back, because sorry, that's not me. And like, HELLO! rupa macam aku ni ada ke nak simpan sparepart bagai pulak? Yes I do have lots of guy friends, some I even consider as my brothers, some I consider as the one who always could cheer me up, some I consider as that friend who always be there for me whenever I need him but, to think of them someone who I could make as flirting friend, or spare-part, no no no. I valued my friendships, and I valued my relationship as well.

Why am I talking about third person now? Or something that near as cheating?

Because this thing keep happening around me, happened to my friends who keep on getting hurt by trusting people so much that they just gave their heart to that person and let him or her destroyed it. Which in the end, my friend will be hurt, down, getting more and more low on self-esteem and confidence and the other party just don't care about it. Maybe the other party did care but the damage already been done.

Since school, till now, I don't know why people love to confide in me when they are in relationship issues. I do feel honored because my friends actually trusted and believed me to listen to my advice but sometimes I do find it weird because my relationship was on the rocks most of the times. I only have been in relationship for 2 years now and people already started to talk to me since I was 15. Where did I get all that experience and thoughts to counsel my sad friends?

Logic, observation, and the thoughts of what will I do if I am in their shoes. Maybe? Or maybe I read to much on relationship columns in REMAJA back then. HAHA.

Ah, I'm still not on the real point on why I do this entry. It's hard.

I just want to know, is it really that satisfying to toy with people's heart? Saying you love that person, saying you miss that person, saying that person is important, but at the end of the day, you end up being with someone else because you want to try how it feel with other different person, because you know that guy/girl that willing to have his/her heart broken by you will wait for you no matter how much shit you throw at him/her.

People's heart and feeling is not a 'thing' that you could experiment with. It's not a 'thing' that you could messed up with. It's not a 'thing' that you could have for a while, nourish it with everything good and suddenly put it aside and forget about it because you are bored with it. No.

I'm saying this because I have friends who always been hurts by people like you. And it breaks me when I see them in depressing situation. It made me feel like all of people that love to play with people's feeling deserve to hit and run by a lorry.

Bukan susah nak involve in a happy relationship, bukan susah untuk tidak jadi manusia tidak berhati perut. Made a decision damn it.

If you really like that person, go for it, make it work, get through all that shits no matter what happened. Trust you instinct, trust your heart. Nak lagi workable? Buat solat hajat, buat solat istikharah.

If you don't feel a thing, stop it before it's too late. There is no such thing as 'trying' or 'experimenting', no. If you are single and have nobody who would do anything for u, then maybe it is okay to experiment or try. But, if you have that 'somebody' , stop all that bullshits.

Yes, I don't have that experience being in an intersection to choose, I don't have that memory on being played, I don't. But I have friends who did, and it killed them, and it killed me to see them on that state.

Fuh.

To those who've been played, you guys deserve better. Don't stick around to that person who treat you just like a toy. You are far more worth it than that.

To those who've played, have you even consider if it ever happened to you? Do you know how hurt it is? If you did it because of revenge, does that feeling worth it?

All of this matter above, is solely from my point of view, you can agree to it, you can bitch back to me about it, I'm just saying what I believe in. I don't have a stable relationship to begin with but I am that friend who are too concern about my friends that I can't stop from bitching about this.

Salam.

update: bangang, aku igt aku pernah buat 2 post with this tajok, satu je rupanya. oh, baru teringat, aku delete balik the 2nd one. haha!

Autobot Vs. AwekPon

2011-07-22T15:49:00.003+08:00

di bandar Chicago yang agak pesat membangun, terdapat satu kawasan yang ditinggalkan kerana menurut kata orang ramai, tempat tuh khas untuk orang main poker, eh berpuaka. tetapi kerana mahu memulakan hidup baru selepas di-dump oleh awek yg mengejar mamat tiada perkerjaan harapkan kereta canggih chevy bewarna kuning je. Bob nama diberi, berpindah masok juga ke flat ber-puaka itu bersama BFF-nya si Pian. rezeki mereka, jiran depan rumah mereka merupakan 2 awek hots (siblings) yang ramah dengan mereka. Nak dijadikan cerita, si kakak jatuh cinta dengan Bob. tiba2, bandar Chicago yg membangun tuh, diserang zombi, i meant, robots. dan tanpa Bob ketahui, rupanya ex dia si Carly tuh ber-couple dengan orang yg membela jin, eh autobot, yang merupakan penyelamat negara. tanpa diketahui Bob juga, awek di depan umah dia tuh rupanya seorang pontianak yg disumpah, lantas apabila semua rahsia ini dibongkari, mereka bekerjasama untuk menghalau decepticons dari bandar Chicago dan juga dunia. selepas menyaksikan pertarungan hebat antara pontianak 2 orang tuh dengan decepticons, akhirnya decepticons tewas apabila Bomoh Aaron Slam Bach datang membantu. kesemua robot kena short-circuit dan lantas mati. maka hidup bahagialah Carly dan Sam tapi tak lama sebab Sam rindu gila kat Mikaela yg awhsome dan Bob dan awek pontinya pon hidup bahagia.

fine marahlah aku sebab dah bazirkan masa korang dengan review merepek mcm ni. tapi mmg style aku pon kan sebelum review betol2 aku gabungkan 2 cerita jadi satu? haha!

let's get serious. (y so serius lah?)

Transformer 3 : Dark Side of the Moon

aku tadi dah review panjang2 tapi aku taknak review bagi korang synopsis sebab aku taknak lah. so aku nak cerita point2 aku tak puas hati dengan cerita ni, mainly sbb cerita ni berjaya buat aku tertidur dalam panggung. yes, i fall asleep watching transformer 3. ye mmg aku beriya2 taknak tgk T3 sbb takde megan fox, aku kiranya nk boikot lah tapi aku gi tgk gak sbb tercabar si dane n dobot pon dh tgk n ramai sgt ckp Rosie tuh hampeh. nama pon Rosie, ada ala2 Rosmah, mmg lah hampeh. so, 1st point aku tak puas hati is character Rosie itu sendiri. dia sgt chic, and i dont know, i dont found their love was that AWHH mcm mikaela n sam. weh mikaela said I love U to Sam time Sam hidup balik dari mati sekejap tuh kot. epic kot! and boleh plak dlm cite T3 alasan Sam break-up is 'she couldn't stand my lifestyle'. oi dlm T1 / T2 korang dh tnjok kot camne mikaela sanggup do anything for sam! aku boleh go on ckp tak puas hati psl megan fox takde tp tak payah lah, panjang sgt post ni kang. then 2nd, plot hambar tapi length of the movie sampai 2 jam setengah. 3rd, kau gila ke buat scene Carly pergi sound megatron? kau gila ke buat megatron duduk mcm pengemis kat tepi banggunan? kau gila ke buat megatron pakai shawl? KAU GILA KE? mana hilang gah megatron! and kenapa megatron tak shot je carly time dia bising2? boleh plak manusia sound decepticon? kau gila ke! 4th. aku sedih ironhide mati. sobs. 5th. kenapa ada scene bangang optimus tergantung kat cable? KENAPAAAA?

rating : 3.5/5 tak boleh lawan T1 / T2

Tolong Awek Aku Pontianak

AWHSOME. cerita daripada James Lee, mana tak awhsome! cerita ni pasal Bob yang lurus orangnya, dia ni memang sangat baik so orang selalu pijak kepala dia. selalu gunakan dia. after dia break dgn ex dia si kepala kecik badan besar muka terok (faezah elai), dia pindah flat yang takde org duduk tp murah giler. dia duduk ngan BFF dia si pian. jiran dorang merupakan 2 orang adik bradik pompuan yg cun. then lama2 bob pon suka2 dengan yg kakak (serius dow aku lupa nama shazzy dlm cite ni). pastoh shazzy pon kerja sekali dgn bob. satu mlm bos bob yg gatal ni nk kacau shazzy, so dia menyamar jadi hantu, tp instead shazzy yg takot, dia yg lari lintang pukang bila nmpk the true color of shazzy. yes, dia pontianak. so lepas tuh, bos dia pakat ngan pian utk reveal shazzy ni sapa kat bob so bob takde lah tertipu. then, silalah pergi tengok. weh serius, pergi lah tengok cerita ni, tak rugi dow! mmg kelakar. script terbaik. mmg fun. mmg tak masok akal tapi tak rugi korang gi tgk wayang cerita ni.

oh, korang nk tgk Liyana Jasmay debab? sila tonton cerita ni!

rating : 4/5 !

aku nk buat panjang lagi tapi tetiba email baru masok swoh buat kerja. ceih. dengki. so kepada yg dah bazir duit mcm aku pergi tengok transformer 3, baik korang pergi sapot TAAP. go!

Libri - Sei

2011-07-16T23:06:00.005+08:00

Day 06 - A book that makes you sad

easy-peasy.

For One More Day by Mitch Albom

this book literally made me cried my eyes out.

why?

easy.

a book that told u about second chances of spending time

for one more time with your love one,

it hit me deep inside.

[how i wish i could have this chances with abah :) far fetch hope]

and my kryptonite was mom.

how hard and stubborn i could be with bonda,

but when something was wrong with her, even she have a mild cough,

it rip my heart out.

and this book was telling u all about the relationship

between a man and his mom.

and if your heart was not touch even a bit by this story,

maybe u got a problem.

14th July 2011

2011-07-14T00:00:00.002+08:00

warning : not suitable for those who hate jiwang entry.

I want to say that

I feel grateful and thankful to Allah for letting me know this one guy.

This one guy who is my poison and yet my medicine

This one guy who could made me laugh and cried

This one guy who could stand my tantrum

This one guy that I'll never know he could be that important in my life

when the first time I saw him.

I reluctant to show our pictures together before

Like I said, I am not that kind of person who love to share about us

But

Today, 14th July 2011,

it marks the 2 years of our relationship.

our companionship maybe?

I don't know what to call this.

We don't name our relationship as couple like other people did

We don't even signify each other as makwe or pakwe or bf or gf

ye ye kami memang lain and pelik

But we know we are something and special to each other.

Like he said before

'yang penting, kita tahu kita ni apa, family pon tahu, itu dh cukup kan?'

ah that time I did resist because I don't want the world

to know us as nothing.

Now I agree with him. :)

enough with the words.

tengok lah gambar2 yg maybe aku pernah show kat FB or somewhere

or maybe langsung tak pernah tunjuk.

haha.

23 December 2008

langsung takde apa2 antara kami this time

25 April 2009

he joined my family for dinner

1st picture taken together but i hate my face in this pic

3 September 2009

during fasting month

15 October 2009

aktiviti bersama yang digemari

photoshoot!

8 August 2010

he's graduating :)

7 May 2011

to L,

we surely have a weird and bumpy relationship

we also take a break recently

which i hope will give us a lesson n made us stronger than before.

let just hope we made it till we got little tembam + broccoli :p

insyaAllah.

happy 2nd year and lets keep on being happy from now on.

love u much. :)

salam.

Libri - Cinque

2011-07-12T10:23:00.004+08:00

Day 05 - A book that makes you happy

all books make me happy, really.

oh except for one - twillight. haha! that disappointed me much.

ah, what should i choose eh?

okay,

well I read lots of genre.

from chic lit, to horror, to drama, to classic, to mystery.

from all of this genre,

the one that really make me feel anticipated n full of adrenaline

and happy are Mystery.

so from all the authors of mystery,

i'm going to pick one of my favorite author.

Agatha Christie.

I start knowing her back in my Sekolah Teknik years.

I went to the library searching for books and I found the Poirot Case.

so I rent one, which was 'Evil Under The Sun'

and from there, I started to look more for her works.

from all of her works,

I really love Poirot's and the one that intrigued me much and makes me happy

was reading

'Murder on the Orient Express'

okay I know reading mystery novel shouldn't make you feel happy.

maybe a romance book will wake you feel happy.

or a humor book.

but for me it's difference,

i love mystery book (lagi2 detective style)

because it made me think, it made me work my brain to know who

the murderer is, and when my guess are as close to the real solution,

it makes me happy.

so why Murder on the Orient Express?

because it was the most hard to solve mystery by Agatha Christie.

the murder taken place in a moving train.

everyone could be the murderer.

the plot was awhsome and well deployed and written.

and how she end the mystery was totally mind-blowing

and my guess was 70% close to the real murderer.

so.

maybe my choice did not quite suitable for this task.

but,

who cares? haha!

and the most important thing is,

Hercule Poirot character always put me on a smile :)

okay then,

see yah later.

Salam.

psst: btw, i would really love to collect all Agatha Christie works.

you could take this as a hint for my birthday presents okay?

hehe.

Babble

2011-07-10T15:18:00.003+08:00

Relationship aku tak pernah boleh berada dalam satu keadaan yang bahagia dalam satu tempoh yang lama. Mungkin ini dugaan, mungkin ini cabaran, menguji teguh atau tidak hati kami. Mungkin itu tanda, sudah-sudah la tuh, tak sedar lagi ke? :) Aku sedar most of the time, yang aku tak boleh demand lebih untuk apa2 dalam relationship ni, sebab aku bukannya ignorant bitch yang tak sedar dengan kondisi diri sendiri. Aku sedar aku tak ada rupa ala-ala Megan Fox untuk demand jadi materialistic. Aku sedar aku ada burden penyakit yang bakal menyusahkan sesiapa sahaja yang bakal kongsi hidup dengan aku pada masa akan datang. Aku sedar aku juga degil and aku nak things to happened with my way, sebab aku tahu cara aku cara yang betul, cara yang telah difikir masak-masak, cara yang aku dah ambil iktibar dan pedoman dari apa yang berlaku di sekeliling aku dari aku kecik sampai besar.

Disebabkan aku ada self-esteem yang sangat downgrade, akibat cara aku membesar dengan berpenyakit dan selekeh dan tidak mempunyai ramai kawan, dan senang cerita childhood aku tak adalah sehappy mana, aku selalu meletakkan kepentingan orang lain dahulu sebab dengan cara tuh, baru orang nak stick lama dengan aku, kot? Aku tak berani kata 'tidak' dekat sapa-sapa pon sebab aku takut dorang stop kawan or berhubung dengan aku. Aku rela ikut je cakap orang so orang stick dengan aku. Aku memang perlukan attention orang. Attention whore, bukan glam whore.

Tapi benda ni lama-lama makan diri aku dengan teruk, and aku berubah jadi manusia hati batu pula. Mula bertindak tak kisah tentang orang sekeliling, cakap lepas, jadi sombong, bergaduh dengan kawan, banyak sangat benda busuk aku buat. Sampailah ketemu dia, bercinta, bercerita tentang future, rancang hidup bersama, kongsi suka duka, benda-benda ni buat aku jadi lemah and lembut balik. Mungkin aku nampak kasar and macam selfish dalam hubungan, tapi mungkin dia dan orang2 lain tak sedar yang aku banyak biarkan hati rosak senyap2 asalkan dia stay and happy ngan aku. Lama-lama, aku jadi conflict dengan diri sendiri, aku ada 2 side dalam jiwa aku, satu memberontak, satu menurut. Satu lemah dengan kata maaf, satu jijik dengan diri sendiri. Bipolar perhaps? Tak tahu.

Ada lagi aku nak cakap tapi, tak boleh teruskan. Aku harap apa aku korbankan, apa aku turutkan, apa aku diamkan, apa aku sabarkan, ada hikmah bakal menjelma satu hari nnt. Aku tahu berharap itu orang loser, tapi aku tak pernah pulak cakap aku a winner pon kan? :)

Soalan, kalau aku pergi Jepun untuk 3 tahun, awhsome tak? :D

Libri - Quattro

2011-07-07T10:03:00.004+08:00

Day 04 - Favorite book of your favorite series

as stated in the previous post,

my favorite series will be from the Undead Series

by Mary Janice Davidson.

this is kinda hard for me to pick actually.

because every series got it interesting story line that

made me hook up in reading it.

(i even finish reading it for one day)

other than that,

it's been a long time since i read them.

can't remember much which book she met her half sister

who actually was the devil's daughter.

or that one which she read the Book of the Dead and

turn out to be a really bitchy vampire.

or that one where she found there a girl ghost inside her mansion

and she decided to adopt that ghost

or that one where she decided to stop drinking blood and

annoyed her consort - Eric Sinclair

or that one where ....... okay

can't pick.

can't choose.

here it goes.

Undead and Unappreciated (Book 3)

why?

because in this book, Betsy already start to live her life as a vampire

and she also decided to stop drinking blood and

turn to strawberry smoothie instead.

then she also need to throw baby shower for her wicked step mother,

where she found out about her half-sister,

and it was hilarious all along the way.

seriously, i can't pick.

oh, if you want to know more about this series,

gladly click this link

okay.

till next time, salam :)

Libri - Tre

2011-07-05T12:07:00.004+08:00

Day 03 - Your favorite series

Because of Al's enthusiasm on doing her 30 days challenge,

so I will be going to do at least do 2/3 of my book challenge every week.

So, favorite series huh?

My first ever series I ever read was Sweet Valley Jr. High.

the one with that twins called Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield?

I was introduce to this series by Merz (kuat pengaruh dia taw)

then I just hooked up.

I owned nearly every volume of this series.

But after some age, I stopped reading them.

(mostly sbb Merz n aku buat cerita sendiri based on this series. haha)

Then, I grew up a little and my sister introduce me to

Sophie's Kinsella series of shopaholic.

Becky Bloomwood. Sapa tak kenal right?

This is one of favorite stories too but,

somehow the story keep on getting the same theme.

Becky overspend, she's in panic attack, she dont know what to do,

then finally she get through to pay all her debts.

Oh, which remind me I still dont get to read Mini Shopaholic.

Then along the way, my sister found another series.

Which, this is my FAVORITE SERIES of all time.

the UNDEAD SERIES by Mary Janice Davidson

okay please get rid of the thought that this was like twilight saga.

NOT AT ALL.

this series was about a shoe-holic Vampire Queen

Betsy Taylor (Elizabeth Taylor).

she was hit n crash one night by car, found dead,

and woke up to turn up to be a vampire queen.

then she met her king Eric Sinclair,

she lived with her gay friend, her friend with cancer,

werewolves, fiends, how she discover her sister was the devil's daughter,

and more more more interesting adventure.

this series was actually kinda hard to find in Malaysia.

thankfully there are Borders.

we got most of our copies there.

u see that 5 books on the right?

yups, that were the books.

so that's it!

here's the book list.

Undead and Unwed

Undead and Unemployed

Undead and Unappreciated

Undead and Unreturnable

Undead and Unpopular

Undead and Uneasy

Undead and Unworthy

Undead and Unwelcome

Undead and Unfinished

Undead and Undermined

I dont have the last 3 yet. Still in hard cover.

okay that's it. thanks for stopping by.

Salam :)

470th Post

2011-07-03T23:41:00.002+08:00

hello July.

June had treat me badly.

Dobot & Jidan

2011-06-25T19:29:00.005+08:00

it's been a while since i crap anything useful inside my blog. tak habis2 nak update benda sappy, sobby, sedih, emosi dan sewaktu dengannya.

tapi dah nama pon blog Random. so isi kandungannya pon random je lah aite?

lets get back to the main story.

you see, as most of my readers know (aku tahu aku ada pembaca tegar disini though dorang malu nk drop komen), i am a fierce Acu to both of my niece and nephew, Dobot and

Jidan. i'm not that cool aunt who gave them everything they want, tolerate their tantrum, tolerate their gedikness, no-no-no (goyangkan jari ke kiri dan kanan). one of the reason of me being this harsh and hard on them is simply because, i don't get what they have during my childhood. i dont get that full attention from any opah as my opah died when i was 7, i dont have lots of pakcik n makcik to lavish me with gifts and attentions as i only have Chu from bonda's side and abah was the only child pon. and i dont get anything i wish or i want if it is not my birthday or i don't get good results in exam.

which, are totally different for them now.

you can say that i am jealous of their benefits. maybe i am? but for me, with only me being the harsh one in their life, at least they have someone to be gerun off. haha. like they gerun sangat lah kan. i could see how kids nowadays behave, they can do anything they want, melawan nombor satu, peers pressure, bla2, and somehow from 3/5 kids, they will grow up like adinda evans. and God forbid, i dont want my beloved niece n nephew to grow up misbehave.

yeah yeah i know they have their parents, but parents somehow overlook this such things, they flourish their kids with everything before they even know how to be grateful. sorry lah kakyang or kaklong, i dont say that you guys are too, i'm just saying in my POV. okay2 i dont even have any children yet and in no position to say about this but, well i hope one day if really i got to have my own children, i will read back this post and remind myself.

okay, so, that's why i am harsh n hard on them. so they know someone in their life that they can't messed around with. even people in my family use my name to made them afraid. for example 'hah buatlah, kang acu marah kang' or 'acu marah kang, tak tahu.' something like that you know. it's okay for me not to be the favorable aunt among them. i'm okay with that. because, seriously, i do that because i care n loved for them. hey kalau dorang sakit aku risau okay even tak tunjuk tapi dlm hati sapa tahu?

so, last wednesday, kakyang told me Dobot was ganged up by her peers. GANG UP OKAY GANG UP! BY 3-5 YEARS OLD KIDS! like how fucked up this world are? they don't want to befriend her because she was not as girlish as them and they don't want to include her in their gang to play sep-sep or whatever shit they are playing in nursery. so Dobot now only played with the boys as all the girls dont want to play with her. like seriously man, i never fac

ed this kind of situation even when i'm in U, and it is not fair for dobot to faced this kind of discrimination at this such age. she is only 5 for god sake! this was one case, before this, she was called 'gemok' by a girl in her nursery too. and i said to her 'show her your fist when she said that' n she did it the next time the girl did n the girl cried n said she would tell her mommy.

oh maybe because of that all the girls ganged up on her? ah, she is better without them. and i bet u my niece will grow up to be one tough chick rather than little bitches who will act like adinda evans. eh suka2 hati nk komplen anak orang kan?

haih, to dobot and jidan, if u read this when u already know to read, i just want to tell u, despite how i love to provoke and made u two cried, i still love u to bits. seriously or i wont spend even a single dime on u guys okay. haha! love <3

i do love them okay.

(khas utk bonda yg suka question aku pasal ni =.=")

2011-06-24T10:15:00.002+08:00

Thanks Allah for giving me back my sickness at this precise time.

I know You love me that You want me to think of You only during this heart break moment.

Thanks.

Alhamdullilah. :,)

Mia Micino II

2011-06-20T10:27:00.005+08:00

dah lebih kurang 3 minggu bela 2 ekor makhluk kesayangan.

waktu tidur, aih, comel gila. slalu kacau dorang time tdo >.<

tapi bila bangun, lapar, mengalahkan perangai zombie.

apa2 pon,

makhluk 2 ekor ni je lah yang bring joy dlm hidup aku yg loser sgt skarang.

pagi2 pon dh kena bangun sbb nk bagi dorang makan.

dorang sedang membesar n takde ibu, so kena jaga bebetol.

seriously, nasib baik ada Spok n Dompok.

enjoy the pics. :)

oren tuh Dr. Evil Spok Chop (hok jate)

tompok2 tuh Dompok (hok tine)

that's all.

salam.

Ti Odio

2011-06-19T23:25:00.002+08:00

why don't you just take my heart that I gave you and ~~bulldoze~~ steamroll it over and squeeze all the love inside? oh, you just did it don't you?

ti odio.

ciao.

Soddisfatto

2011-06-17T12:08:00.005+08:00

I am not a good photographer who make profit with my pictures

I never even thought of using my camera to earn money

I know I'm not that good to do it

But

From time to time

I do upload my photo into random photo site just to have

that recognition from people

To show people what I see from my camera

Alhamdullilah :)

My effort was worth it

Last year, a person from Flickr message me to have the

permission

using my picture for her magazine in Singapore.

You know how I felt? WOW.

the dragon fruit

Then,

last two month I think, one of my picture in DeviantArt

got favorite 100 times by strangers.

I was speechless and flabbergasted at the same time

Stare.

too much happiness this time! :D

And today,

someone message me in DeviantArt,

asking for my permission to use my photo

for her digital posters in animal cruelty.

i uploaded this in my blog years before

this was the edited version though.

Though I don't earn any money from any of this,

but I am satisfied with what I do with my passion

Thanks to all the strangers who acknowledge my photos

Thanks to my family who keep giving me endless support

(the unofficial photog for LL Clan of course)

Thanks to friends who love to be my unpaid models

Thanks to L for all the tips n guidance

Thanks :)

*satisfaction

Lorenzo

2011-06-17T01:07:00.003+08:00

Hey Lorenzo,

You know I'm not that kind of person who loves to show the world how lovey-dovey we are when we r good or how fucked up we are r bad. I don't share it with the world, though sometimes I might tweet nasty things as I am so pissed and update some random shits in the private blog when you make me mad. Or I might posted something sweet/geli2 on your wall but sometimes you ignore it or maybe doesn't realize the existence of it or maybe you are too busy commenting on other's people post. It's okay really. It's okay, I'm cool. Blurgh.

Whatever.

But tonight, I really want to say something in public. Well, I'm in hyper mood right now and might regret this post later but what the heck, you should know.

I don't want to babble much because there is no point in saying things longer than it should if in the end, we know the same things going to repeat by itself again. Look, I'm trying not to care but that is just so not right if we let this passed.

Hey Lorenzo, I did tell you right yesterday our friendship has lasted for 2 years, 5 m

onths, 2 weeks n 5 days? Nice figure hah? 2525, apa lagi, pergi beli nombor!

Dude, I love you seriously. We've been through shits like billion of times and keep on getting back on the same shits again and again. Thanks to Allah for giving me a hell of a heart to be patience with all this shits again and again, but you got to remember that I'm no superwoman. I do and seriously do understand you, but you need to understand how I work too. You need to understand that despite this 'ganaih' + 'rock gangsta' I've been putting on my face and attitude, deep down, I still a gula-gula + hati tisu punya manusia.

Okay so you are busy, I'm not asking you to reply my text on the go or call me every hour or reply my comment on FB asap, NO. Did I asked you all that? NO.

But, give me some freaking attention every day, seriously every day because I have put up lots of patience with you from 7 am to 10 pm every freaking day so why can't you just spend 15 minutes to give me the attention that I longed?

Was that hard? I think that was as easy as spending your time watching video in youtube that posted in on FB and happily making a conversation with all your friends in FB, right?

Okaylah, I know I'm not that cool as youtube video or as interesting as your FB friends but, hello, who am I again? Just a person who you need when all others matters failed?

Sorry for putting this on public. I need to do this because, other than blaming you this n that, maybe some of the people who read this could give me some advice on myself. I know I can't blame you alone, I am a fucked up person also. EVERYONE knows that fact. TEEHEEHEE.

I don't want to go to bed every night and keep assuring myself that all of this will get better soon. I don't want to go to bed every night with heavy eyes and trouble head knowing that you are not okay but in the same time fighting with my own ego saying you need my care more than I need yours.

I help you, you help me too. That's fair right? I'm not asking for money here right? Just a little bit of understanding.

That's all. I know now people will call me as 'perempuan tak tahu malu pegi bukak cerita problem kat blog, kesian pakwe dia' after reading this.

Ah, korang apa taw? Korang aku ke sekarang? Bukan kan? Kalau tak interested nak tahu, pegi baca blog obefiend.

Bye.

mmg kadang2 gua rasa nak tomoi je lu.

Lots of Love

Niezo

Halal & Harom

2011-06-16T13:08:00.003+08:00

semenjak berjinak2 dengan twitter ni (dah makin liar pon), banyak gak aku terbaca orang retweet status halal dan haram makanan. Hari tuh terbaca kek secret recipe haram, kononnya bahan yang digunakan untuk buat kek tuh, JAKIM cakap haram. selepas debat-debik-debuk, pandailah semua manusia2 ni nak cakap haram. JAKIM cakap ada satu product ni yang haram, bukan Secret Recipe. yay mari makan kek banyak2 smpai gemok!

now latest, sos tabasco yang famous di makan bersama pizza pon dapat status haram. kononnya dibuat daripada white wine and ramai yang dah tengok cara pembuatannya dekat discovery channel (note: how they do it). sebabkan sebelum ni aku tak adalah rajin bebenor nak check seriously status haram halal tuh, aku google ajalah n jumpa lah forum2 / blog2 yang cerita pasal status halal / haram makanan ni. aku tak jumpa lagi statement kat website JAKIM pasal ni, tapi kat forum, dah ramai lah dok bising2.

so.

sebenarnyalah kan, kalau kau orang semua ni mmg jenis jaga makan dan minum, nak halal dan suci dan bersih 100%, tak payahlah at the first place pergi makan luar pon. range fast foods, starbucks, coffee bean, kedai2 bukan melayu / muslim jual, jangan pergi lah. duduk rumah, beli sayur kat pasar, lagi elok if tanam sendiri, beli daging lembu / ayam / ikan or bela lagi terbaik, masak and makan sedap2 kat rumah. lagi terbaik kan?

tapi aku tahu lah takde orang sebagos itu, maybe ada, tp percentage-nya makin kurang.

and if really lah korang was-was dengan satu product tuh, kenapa pergi tanya kat orang-orang yang memang tak ada bukti atau senang cerita, jawapan dia mesti 'ada arak! haram!' 'orang dh ckp haram, haram lah!' 'isk haram lah tuh, bukan melayu jual'

isk, kenapa pergi tanya dekat orang2 mcm tuh?

masok je website jakim, www.halaljakim.gov.my and tanya kat situ. sebab aku rasa, lagi senang tanya teros je dengan pihak berwajib daripada kau tanya manusia2 yang tak reti buat research tapi dengar dari mulut orang je or ikot sedap hati dia je nak cakap apa. lagipun, ni antara website / badan kerajaan yang agak efficient sikit menjawab soalan2 rakyat. kan senang?

oh and, ko taw statement paling aku menyampah dlm kebanyakan forum / blog aku baca?

"patutlah dulu rasa was-was je nak makan kat ______ , haram rupanya, syukur tak terpedaya dengan ajakan rakan2"

=.="

ah damn, tadi aku start kol 1, now dh 1.25. dah dah, nak pergi solat.

bye2.

psst: Islam itu mudah, yang menyukarkannya adalah penganutnya sendiri.

461th Post

2011-06-12T12:22:00.003+08:00

aku nak update blog.

aku nak cerita pasal ke-tidak-syukuran aku terhadap segala benda.

dari relationship ke duit ke life ke anak kucing ke itu ke ini.

aku nak update blog

aku nak cerita tentang depressi yg aku sendiri buat2

aku nak cerita tentang keadaan bipolar aku yg aku rasa aku bajet aku ada

aku nak cerita bagaimana berbelas rakan baik kau ada pon,

seorang pon takkan paham the real situation sbb they r not in my shoes

aku nak update blog

cerita tentang rage aku yg disimpan elok2 dalam2 supaya tak burst

tapi tengah kuis2 sikit demi sikit utk meletop

cerita tentang ke-tidak-syukuran aku terhadap segala benda.

(bukan dah mention?)

tapi

biarlah simpan je sorang2.

apa guna bercerita dekat blog, message, twitter, kawan

kalau sendiri sudah lama tahu,

people just don't care bout my shits anymore.

orang lain pon ada problem la bai.

cuma berpijak di bumi yang nyata sikit.

aku masih tak puas hati dengan satu statement lazim ini

'kita kena jaga hati orang kalau nk orang jaga hati kita'

eh boleh pergi mam dengan statement tuh kn.

semua manusia selfish dan hypocrite.

haha.

have a nice sunday people.

enjoy it.

psst: the last 2 post,the title for that short story actually was 'I'm Not Martin'. baru check semalam.

460th Post

2011-06-10T13:25:00.004+08:00

cam biasa, skarang time lunch. though kadang2 aku ikot akak2 opis ni gi mkn, tp most of the time mmg ak makan roti sorang2 je depan laptop. baca: loser + loner. ahahah. well actually aku takde duet nak gi mkn. sobs. laen kali bila pegi kedai buku sila check dlm akaun bank tinggal berapa ye anak2.

aku dh kurang reti nk ber-blog sangat la sekarang ni. taktahu nak cerita apa. life pon tgh slow motion je sekarang, takde benda interesting sgt kecuali kena buli dgn snok ngan dompok tiap hari. awh, sayang gila kat mangkok 2 ekor tuh, even annoying dan sangat pembuli, tp every time dorang tido, awwwh, adorable. eh, dobot n dane juga berperangai begini.

oh, recent task kat office ni, kitorang kanak2 intern kena buat testing/treatments on 2000+ of accounts. memang gila. sebab aku ni slow and byk mengular, baru 400 something je akaun aku dah buat. sadis. but, bagos jugak keje ni sbb membuatkan aku dapat extra free time utk membaca. for now, aku dh habis baca eat,pray,love / pecah and on the way baca 'the case of the imaginary detective'.

what else.

oh aku sedang bergiat aktif kat twitter, asek merepek di sana sampai aku lupa kewujudan fb most of the time. tapi sbb nak stalk ahjelan n ahjelan tak sudi nk buat twitter, kena lah aku on jugak fb dr semasa ke semasa. lgpon si sole pon malas nk maen twitter. takpe, tiada paksaan though hari tuh aku paksa sole follow aku. mahahahha.

gua nak solat ni tapi pintu surau kena kunci from inside, ada orang tido kot. huhh.

apa lagi.

oh, aku ada wishlist ni, nak beli buku banyak2. tapi if ada org sudi nk belikan dulu or hadiahkan teros, apa salahnya kan? hikhik. eh, teringat ada la satu manusia ni dulu, cakap kat aku "nnt every month, saya belikan anda satu buku, nak?" wah time tuh aku mmg teruja lah, tp rasanya, gua dpt satu buku je setelah setahun kata2 itu dilemparkan. ehem.

okay so, kakyang, sila take note sbb anda provider buku saya jugak. bahahah.

Room - Emma Donoghue

A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

The Alchemy - Paolo Coelho

Cekik - #BukuFixi

Anything from Agatha Christie

Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini

so, ini apa yang aku teringat lah. kalau aku jejak kaki ke mana2 bookstore, mahu satu store tuh aku borong tapi apa kan daya, gua tak kaya.

argh, mana ada hobi yg tak pakai duit pon! benci.

okay. salam :)

Libri - Due

2011-06-09T10:00:00.004+08:00

A book that you've read more than 3 times

this is a bit hard for me to do because, i don't read a book

more than 2 times.

because 1st, plainly i got too much books to be read

and have no time to re-read another book.

and as i'm at the office right now,

so, i could not recall much of what book i have read more

than 3 times.

but it might be one or two books from the Undead Series.

*loves*

or the ghost story collections from R.L Stine

(kanak2 baya aku kalo tak baca R.L Stine, sangat, sangat, tipu)

i had read Angels & Demons twice though.

what else.

fuh.

well, I'm going with R.L Stine - The Nightmare Hour

(buku gua yg kat umah lg horror/kuning drpd ni)

so this book is a collection of horror short stories.

i bought this book back when i was standard 6 maybe.

tak hengat.

i was first introduce to R.L Stine by Merzy and Andrea Lam.

so I went to MPH, looking for Goosebumps series and

I found this book instead and I just drawn into it.

for the short stories, though it was meant for young adult,

it still could gives me chills every time i read them, now.

i could tell u of one story that i still remember till now.

this is one story that i think, maybe, is title 'I'm Not Charlie'

it's about a boy who got admitted into the hospital n the person

on the bed next to him keep on yelling 'i'm not charlie! i'm not charlie!' all day long.

then that night, the boy feel that that screaming dude changed their nametag

and as he was high with meds, he thought it was just a dream.

until the hosp attendances come in, and took him n said they r going to

remove his legs.

he screams 'i'm not charlie!'

and both of the attendances just laugh n said

'yeah we know you r going to say that, no bluffing boy. lets go'

as he was taken to the operation room, the other boy just giggle sinisterly.

end.

because of that story,

i hate being admitted if there is someone next to my bed.

like seriously, ko gila?

now bertambah paranoid after watching Phobia 2.

takmau admitted please. takmau.

okay, that's all for book number 2.

oh btw, if you are interested to do this task,

i could list out the challenge for u.

just ask. :)

Salam.

Mia Micino

2011-06-05T23:38:00.002+08:00

what a tiring weekend for me this week.

first,
dapat allergy, yg maybe di-trigger balik sebab hari tuh
dapat virus.
so now, sad but true, i can't eat shrimps anymore.
SEDIH.

second,
i was searching like hell for Fixi books n couldn't find it anywhere.
nasib baek smalam gi MPH OU, and jumpa!
mengikot nafsu serakah, aku borong smpai 3.
Pecah, Kougar, Dendam.
though still ada 6-8 buku aku tak baca lagi.
though, aku dh bankrupt takde duet.
though, aku tak sure if the books are totally worth it.
I HOPE THEY ARE WORTH IT.

third,
pergi jalan2 around KL,
cari baju melayu awep. bagaikan artis mamat tuh, smpai 3-4 kedai
tak jumpa2 warna berkenan di hati.
nak dgr benda poyo?
aku siap beli kain baru khas utk pakai time graduate.
yes, tahun ni aku nk all out for graduation day.
the only day that i really looking forward to this year.
even birthday pon aku dh tak hairan sgt.
bulan 8, aku nak gi beli doc mart warna putih!
not for bufday, but will going to use that excuse,
so mom going to buy me doc mart as befday presents.
bahahaha.

fourth.
:D :D :D
i got 2 kittens now! seghonokkkkkkkkk.
mereka semua tak percaya sy mampu bela.
tapi, insyaAllah, i could take care of them :)

pictures courtesy of kaklong.

takde nama lagi. taktaw nak letak nama apa.
thanks to adib sebab bagi mereka :)

fuh.
lots of things happened.
lots of decision have been made.
i hope i could stay true to what i decide n said.
it's for the best :)

see ya people.
salam.

psst: my kittens*

Libri - Uno

2011-06-02T23:21:00.004+08:00

I stumbled across this one blog few days before,

the blogger was taking on this 'challenge' on books.

I found it interesting and would like to try on it.

I never did anything like this before in my blog.

So, this is my first entry on Books.

get your glasses on!

1. Best book you read last year

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Mark Haddon

why it was my best read last year?

....

okay actually, aku silap pilih buku..

i thought this is 'a spot of bother' which is by mark haddon tuh.

argh silap!

but!

this book was also one of interesting read i've done last year.

[i will use 'a spot of bother' next time]

this story was about an autistic boy.

...........

....

i can type all the synopsis back

but i don't think it necessary.

i can't remember the whole story as

i've been reading too many books after i 'khatam' this one.

but got to say this book totally awesome

and i might read it again after i finished the others.

i do recommend u people to read it though.

seriously.

okay then.

looks like my first attempt kinda failure.

but, got 29 books to go!

see ya.

salam.

psst: darth vader tuh saje je interframe

psst2: libri - uno / book - one

Jidan's 3rd Birthday

2011-05-29T22:06:00.005+08:00

28 May 2011

dobot and dane

dobot looks like a pretty little girl (^^)

marvelous macaroni goreng by kaklong

golden fried nuggets

jidan's special birthday cake =)

jidan with along n kaklong

surrounded by couzies n friends

keseronokan melampau dpt hadiah

beloved little otomen :D

speedlight aku berlaku haram semalam,

so byk moments tak dpt snap sbb gelap gelita.

lantak-lah.

till we meet again,

salam!

Kongsi Syaiton Darth Maul

2011-05-28T12:36:00.006+08:00

Di satu pelusuk kota, terdapat 3 ketua gangster yang setiap seorangnya mewakili 3 kaum majoriti di negara itu. Cukuplah kalau kita tahu kaum2 tuh dikenali as kaum M, kaum C, dan kaum I (malawi, cambodia, italy maybe?) Mereka duduk berbincang di meja bulat, membincangkan bagaimana anak2 ikan mereka, eh, anak2 buah mereka habis sorang2 jatuh n tidak sedarkan diri yakni dalam state koma. Apa sudah jadi? Apakah kepelikan ini? Adakah kerana mereka bangang sangat berlakon cerita bodoh lalu tak dapat terima kenyataan lantas koma?

Di satu alam yang lain, kelihatan anak2 buah gangster2 tadi sedang berkeliaran di kawasan yang gelap. Di sudut gelap yang jauh, mereka ternampak satu bayangan, mereka pergi dekat, mereka kaget, mereka cuak, tapi apabila mereka makin hampir ... "WHOAH KITA DALAM STAR WARS LA WEH, WHOAH, DARTH MAUL TUH WEH" kata seorang manusia yang badan bercacah-cacah tatu di badan dia yang kering tuh. Tiba-tiba syaiton yang berwajah merah merupai Darth Maul itu menyerang mereka dan mereka lari dan buat aksi-aksi bodoh, langsung tak macam gangster. Selepas berjaya membunuh gangster-gangster tadika kemas itu, Darth Maul pon membuka topengnya, dan reveal lah muka yang lagi syaiton! SaheziSem! Dengan rambut mohawk, muka bertindik, kechek kelate tak real, dia gelak terbahak2 dan kembali ke dunia realiti.

WHAT THE FUCK AKU MEREPEK DUA PERENGGAN NI?

basically, itu adalah gabungan 2 cerita aku tonton semalam, Kongsi n Insidious.

Review Time! (spoiler alert)

Insidious

about a child being in comatose state and even the logic of medic can't find the reason why. then begin the haunted session of the house, n the family moved house thinking that maybe the house was haunted. but they were wrong. the haunting happened again in the new house and it became more scary. so, they asked for a 'bomoh' help and after doing a checking session, she concluded that their son soul was astray from his body. he had gone to the another realm, n he don't know how to come back and there is this one bad demon who looks like darth maul, want to possessed his soulless body. the only way they could retrieve the boy back by going to the another realm and save him. apparently, the boy's dad got the same experience when he was a child n he got the gift for the astral projection (roh keluar dr badan). so, he went to the another realm, retrieve his child n even fight with the demon that once trying to possessed him back when he was 8. at the end, both of them safely return to their body and ........

go watch the ending yourself. bahahahha

scream factor: 4/5 (mainly because i am a scarredy cat now)
plot: 3.5/5 (bagoih lah sbb leh relate dengan culture kita sket)
overall: 3.5/5 (because the ending, it just, it just......... oh the demon looks like darth maul. wtf)

see, bukan aku sorang je berfikir begini. hahaha!

Kongsi

satu gangster kelate yg berkerja di bawah gangster thailand yang kacak hensem bergaya macho (bront palarae, mestilah aku puji melambung), datang KL pergi bunuh semua anak2 buah gangster2 utama KL. gangster2 ni plak igt dorang berbunuh sesama sendiri. then polis masok campor, then jadilah adengan2 membunuh, mengejar, lawak spastik, lawak bodoh, lawak tak masok akal, aku tak tahu mcm mana dapat 7 juta dalam masa 7 hari, aku tak paham macam mana orang boleh gelak, aku tak paham mcm mana shaheizy sam boleh dpt pelakon award yasmin ahmad, i dont know i dont know i dont know! aku bukan nak banggakan cerita org putih tapi even cerita dorang bodoh, tapi dorang ada plot. cerita dorang masok akal. stop making stupid movie that show we malaysian people ni bodoh sangat.

oh gangster cakap kelantan? the only gangster yang nailed it cakap kelantan is the one who act in baik punya cilok. enough said.

OVERALL: 1/5

even poster pon tiru the expendables + underworld.
LAME.

Uomo Sogno

2011-05-26T13:33:00.007+08:00

This was a long due post I was meant to blog about

Before, 2 of the blogger I follow, blog about their dream girls,

what they want in a girl, how they look, etc etc

So, just like any other typical random girl,

I also do have my own Dream Guy

(in italian, it is Uomo Sogno, ini takde kepastian, aku suka2

hati je translate)

1. Play the Guitar

do i need to elaborate much?

guitarist or simply a rocker, really really REALLY could melt me

you don't have to strum it like you are Slash or Tom Morello,

it is enough for me if you know 1 or 2 songs

well at least you could serenade me right? bahaha!

that's not the point, but I don't know!

i really LOVE a guy who knows to play the guitar

(not guitar hero, u don't need to challenge me in that okay)

2. Tall + Long Straight Hair

;')

this is like a fetish of mine i think.

pergh, fetish?

entah!

I just find that guy who is tall with long hair is interesting

it shows that somehow, he is like a one kind of rebel

and i blame brandon boyd and aragorn for this

the messy-bad-boy looks really make me go AWWWH MARRY ME!

3. Play Soccer

enough said, this is simply because I was a fan of the football itself

I don't care if you are a fan of chelsea, arsenal, perak, harimau muda,

whatever club ever exist..

(note: i'm a man utd + argentina fan)

but, i really want the guy to know how to kick a ball

and i want to be among the crowds

and dengan bangganya

point out to the field n said 'hey, that's my guy'

hahha

boleh bayangkan tak kalau mesut ozil or sergio ramos tuh pakwe i?

ewah, seronot!

tp aku taktaw ckp spanish atau german. damn.

OGS

4. Nerdy / Geek

because,

nerds or geeks are brilliant and smart.

and i want someone who can highlight me about everything.

and more importantly,

they could watch Star Wars / LOTR / Big Bang Theory

with me again n again n again without falling asleep at all.

and we could also collect toys and figurines together!

(membazir duet betol)

oh and even spend times in bookstore,

just looking n reading the books together..

awh.

JmA

5. Family Man

eh eh macam gatal je taip ni kan.

bahaha!

family man in my dictionary meant,

he knows how to cook (simple meal is enough),

he knows how to wash, clean, his own clothes

he goods with children

this is mainly because

i'm bad ~~(verybad)~~ in three of this. HAHA.

tak malu betol pergi mengaku dlm blog, sapa nk kawen dgn

kau skarang?

padan muka.

6. Serious

have you watch the movie 'The Priest' ?

if you do, watch this character of Paul Bettany,

yeah i meant that kind of serious.

or if u dont,

u know aragorn from LOTR?

he is serious.

why?

because, most of the serious-type of guy,

is actually 'dalam hati ada taman astakona punya orang'

(curi awep's quote)

betol dow!

n don't u think serious type of guy is kinda sexy?

eheh.

so. that's all.

yeah, that's it.

i don't dream much about how perfect my guy going to be.

but i really love all this kind of guy.

that's why i love;

brandon boyd - tall + straight long hair

james valentine - guitarist + long straight hair

solksjaer + sergio ramos - footballer of course!

james franco / james mcavoy /jason rathbone - nerdy/ geeky

(basically, muka dorg je macam nerd/ geek)

johnny depp /aragorn - family man / serious

roronoa zoro from one piece - serious

BUT BUT BUT

this is again, just a dream..

why?

because the guy that i have now,

he differ from each and every point that i stated

going to talk bout him in another post

panjang sgt dah post ni

so do wait for the continuation

(actually, break dh habis, kena smbung buat keje serious)

till another post,

till we meet again,

salam! ciao :)

psst: tak sempat google muka aragorn!

psst 2: alamak, lupa nk masokkan hugh dancy! dia hensem bai.

Priest Vs. Pirates

2011-05-23T13:32:00.002+08:00

boleh tak kau imagine kalau paderi2 bertelagah dengan lanun? tapi kenapa diaorang nak bergaduh sesame sendiri pulak kan? boleh aja terjadi hal ini. contohnyo, lanun datang merompak wang tabung gereja, maka boleh saje paderi2 tuh mengamuk dengan tenang lalu menghukum para lanun. takpun, lanun selamatkan paderi dr lemas di laut, tp bila dh diselamatkan, paderi byk bunyi cerita hati dorang ni gelap lah, dorang ni jahat lah, so boleh je lanun tuh campak je balik dlm laut or jadikan paderi tuh hamba abdi lantas bila pihak gereja tahu, lanun pon kena serang.

aku dah menyimpang jauh.

actually, this weekend, aku dah tengok 2 movies. POTC : At Stranger's Tide & The Priest.

mari buat review.

POTC : At Stranger's Tide

aaa aku dah lemah la nk buat review. okay lah, so mcm biasa lah cerita pirates, ada saje aksi2 biol Jack Spa.. I mean, Captain Jack Sparrow yg entertaining. but we could watch a little bit of seriousness in him now, sikit je lah tapi still, dia serius sket. mcm dah matured la kot? then byk watak baru yg tidak menyampahkan sanubari kau. yes there are no keira gedik-knightley and orlando mr-miranda-kerr-bloom also. apa lagi, boleh saksikan kemunculan lanun termasyur Blackbeard (Edward Teach), dia ni kalo ikot history lanun, mmg sgt kejam and femes. then, comeback of Captain Barbossa. and jgn dilupkan babes Angelica (Penelope Cruz) and mermaids! which korang boleh taw the true nature of mermaids dgn menonton cite ni.

okay ni mcm bukan review je pon kan?

whatever lah. oh main theme cerita ni, dorang nk carik fountain of youth. tuh je. or ikot substitle bahasa melayunya 'Air Awet Muda' bahahahhaa.

malas lah nk ckp byk. pegi lah tgk / download. rating aku kasi 4/5.

sorry, aku mmg bias bila ada jonidep kesayangan. HAHA.

The Priest

ni secara random je aku pegi tengok dengan cik merzy. and turns out to be nice!

cite ni mengisahkan pasal bila dunia tinggal manusia and vampire je. the story start with how the soldiers of human (the priest) defend all humans from vampire. then the church build a city to save all the humans from vampires. and last2, khidmat2 priest ni tak digunakan dah and dorang jadi manusia sampah bagi pihak gereja n rakyat jelata. smpai lah satu masa, when vampire start attacking blk and this one exile priest nk pegi selamatkan satu manusia yg kena culik ngan vampire tuh. so, priest tuh ingkar arahan geraja and pegi lah memulakan misi utk memburu ayam, eh, i mean vampire.

camtuh jelah mainly cerita ni. though bila aku terangkan mcm bosan, but seriusli, aku jamin, cerita ni, sangat best! and akhirnya! akhirnya! vampire cant be touch by the sun! they cant! they dont sparkle stupidly like edward cullen! n they r not handsome at all! they r disgusting creature and they eat human! not hunting animal in the jungle because they r on diet! they r not lame!

though cerita ni menarik, tp, aku terpaksa bagi 3/5 sahaja. kerana, effect dia tak sampai ke hati bro. action fighting mmg tak smpai ke hati. movement camera dah nice tp bila hit, lame. climax tak smpai. camtuh lah.

oh n maybe, ada sambungan jugak utk cerita ni. oh fyi, according to merz, cite ni based on korean manga. what else? ooh, paul bettany sangat superbly awesomely gorgeous yaw! jatoh cinta.

okay bye2. no pictures sbb aku malas.

salam :)

Avere Non Vacanze

2011-05-18T13:24:00.003+08:00

Now is my lunch time actually, but as I am fasting for today [Ramadhan dah nak menjelma mind you], so I take this opportunity to update my blog. So, after finishing my studies last March, I continue to have a training in SAP at Uniten for the whole April. Then, I get on with my internship from May till November. Yes people, 6 months!

Unihell only asked for 3 months but the company that I'm with now asked for 6 so, I just said yes as I don't have anything to do till my convocation in Oct. I also got monthly allowance so, well, at least I got paid than doing nothing at home.

This is my 12th day here, oh, I have my internship in Kota Damn [bahhaha, kota damansara] and with using NKVE, it only takes 15-20 minutes to from my home to works. Except going back because ye lah, sah2 la jem terok kat sungai buloh tuh kan.

What have I done for this past 12 days? Reading manuals. Yups, I got to read all the manuals about the system they used. ODI has been installed in my laptop but got no chances of using it yet as lots of things need to be read and understood first.

So how about amico and co-workers/co-interns? For the first week here, I don't even go to lunch and speak with anybody. Yes yes I am that 'quiet' and 'shy' and 'lazy'. But for the second week, a new girl start working here and she is so friendly and I finally went out to lunch. Hahah. Kesian manusia seorang ni poyo sangat tak pergi lunch sebab tak ada member. Lol.

Oh, this office contains multi-racial peoples. It is interesting and yes most of the times I need to speak in English. Malu I nak kechek bahasa amareka ni.

So, as the title behold, it will be 'have no holiday' for me after this until November. Sobs. I need to wait for future National Holiday after this. Oh, the next one will be on 6 June I think as the Agong birthday fall on 5th [sunday]. Rasanyalah kalau yelah cuti kan?

Lagipun memang tak boleh pergi mana2 sebab aku dah kena blacklist weh. Thank you ptptn, I love yah! Boo.

Till then, salam. :)

*amico = friends

Euforico

2011-05-15T17:06:00.004+08:00

Euphoric.

I think I am in that kind of state right now.

No.

I don't know.

Oh do you know I just touch the wall and it feel soft? Is wall supposed to feel soft?

Does wall have texture? What.

I think I could hear myself loudly though I don't even speak right now.

Hai Shara, I drink milk as you suggest. When it will start to kick in and stop me from being as dumb as now?

Maybe I should get some sleep.

Though I feel like I'm on a dreamland now. Dreamland have blog activity? Lame.

I should sleep.

Oh, as I'm on an honest state right now.

If you read this dear, yes I am pissed of at you.

Sorry? Don't. Stop saying sorry, if you don't even tried to make things better.

Seriously, do you even know how I'm function? How I react to things? How do I feel when I see your ex only want to like/comment on MF fb status when your name is mention? Fck. Hey, I don't have any fckin ex, you don't have to go through that deal so please do help me one thing, let me have a happy time with you without having to be paranoid about her. Without having to think that your bestfriend is still trying to make you two ex become friend again. Without having to go through this stupid phase. If you care, then please help me la weh.

Even though I'm high and euphoric, I still thinking about you. You are much more strong than a brownie.

Dude, please, just please understand me when it comes to this things. I hate anything involving your ex. Finished. Is that so hard to be understand by you? Go find yourself a dictionary then. Guna google translate or dictionary.com okay juga kot.

Okay.

I'm swaying like a grass. I need to sleep. Lets wake up from this dream please.

Bye.

update: it takes me more than 24 hours to become normal again! i'm back people.

450th Post

2011-05-11T14:04:00.004+08:00

Last post ada cakap nak letak semua title dlm italian kan? Tapi sebab aku ni selalu hot hot chicken shit about something, so taktaw la sampai bila aku boleh teruskan minat nak belajar italian tuh.

Sebab musabab nak belajar pon, terpengaroh dengan game Assassin Creed II dan juga buku Eat, Pray, Love. Dua-dua benda ni berjaya membuatkan aku rasa Italian Language sangat romantic and sexy and such a beautiful language. Ngahaha.

Actually, aku mmg nak mendalami new language. though ramai cakap sila belajar bahasa cina nnt senang dpt kerja, tapi aku tak minat. Bagi aku, kalo nak belajar new language, mestilah something yg dekat di hati baru senang nak masok. If semata-mata nak belajar sbb nk senang dapat kerja, benda tuh jadi pressure, jadi tak seronot bila nak belajar. Right?

Okay so, first language yg memang betol2 aku nak master is Arab. Reason? So bila aku baca al-Quran, aku tak perlu nak refer tafsir and bila solat, rasa lagi serene. Tapi Arab adalah satu language yang mmg susah nak belajar, and for now, aku tak sure la bila aku boleh start belajar ni. Nak carik orang ajar actually, kalo belajar dr internet, susah oo. Oh n according to some people, if dah master Arab, automatically ko senang gila belajar French.

Then, lepas membazirkan countless hour with Ezio Auditore <3 aku dah gila nak belajar Italian plak. Entah lah, aku rasa bahasa Itali macam, lain. Bukan sebab aku poyo nak jadi italian/latino ke apa. Kalo dah melayu tuh melayu la jugak camne pong. Just, entah! slang dia kot? Macam seakan-akan lembut and serene jugak. But again, ini angan2 je, kalau setakat belajar using dictionary online, susah jugak. Oh dulu aku belajar spanish ikot tv je, tengok Secreto D'Amor. Sampai most of the times, aku takyah refer subtitle. Gempak dow, tapi itu dulu, sekarang otak karat.

Anyway, aku update blog ni dari ofis. Tadi time lunch, tapi saje dok gatai update blog gak tengok2 sekarang dah kol 2.15. Oh, aku tak cerita pasal internship aku kat blog lagi eh? Asek merepek kat twitter je. Nantilah aku cerita.

So, how about you guys? Agak-agak apa bahasa baru korang nak belajar? Yang betol-betol korang rasa suit dengan jiwa korang? :)

Till we meet next time, Salam.

Buona Festa Della Bonda

2011-05-08T23:00:00.002+08:00

today is mother's day

as I am trying to learn Italian Language, so

maybe all my title will be in Italian starting from this post.

so, I'm not poetic or artistic

I could not come out with a poem or song

or even nice saying and sentence

but

I do know that I love my Bonda

that already enough than a essay of words

to describe how much I love her

we don't have that special bonding relationship

we are not bestfriends

we argue, we fight, we mad at each other

but

put aside all that things

i love her

and she is important to me

so for this day

i don't bake any cake/muffin/biscuits for this occasion

as she is not that keen of desserts

so, i treat my mom [n also awep]

lunch at Namaste, Taman Tun

kami bertiga bloated gila.

bonda seronot dengan makanan.

last but not least.

Tutte il bene del monda alla mia Bonda cara

salam.

*happy mother's day

** all the kisses in the world to my loving bonda

Smile

2011-05-02T16:27:00.002+08:00

last Friday, was the last day of me n friends at Uniten.

we don't know when we are going to hang out with each other again.

semua jaoh-jaoh.

sorang selatan, dua utara, sorang barat.

fuh.

though we've been in Uniten for 4 years,

but we start to be friend with each other just on the 2nd year of study.

ada hikmahnya atas semua benda terjadi.

and since then,

ewah, keje2 merepek mmg selalu dilakukan bersama.

seghonok dpt kenal dengan mereka.

so, malas la ckp byk2.

kang start sob2 bahaya.

layan la gambo.

ours FYP's thesis.

me-hana-farah

nalini dah balik time ni.

us.

utk menggantikan hadiah masing2 thun ni.

kitorang pakat buat keychain with our initials.

Hana, Niez, Farah, Nalini

okaylah.

takde benda nk cakap sangat sbb tak sronot nak sobs.

apa2 pon, it was a pleasure to have great friends like you guys.

who always been there to hear me bithcing n crapping.

who always there to cheer up the moments.

who always there during up n downs.

love u guys.

semoga jumpa lagi time graduation

and

oh.

time hana kawin hujung tahun ni.

wooooooot!!!!

salam.

adioz muchacoz.

Baldu Merah Jambu

2011-04-25T23:41:00.003+08:00

oh, berkenaan tajok diatas, ia bermaksud kepada hasil ciptaan kek 'red velvet' yang sangat overrated sekarang ini. kurang mengerti kenapa orang ramai suka sangat, rasanya macam biasa. tapi aku pon taknak lepaskan lah peluang ini untuk try buat kan sebab dah lama pon tak baking. so.

dobot pose bersama 50% bahan2 cake.

playar tuh takde kena mengena dlm sesi adunan.

tepung + garam + serbuk cocoa

ini akan di-mix bersama telur, butter, buttermilk, dan lain2.

oh pengajaran yg dipelajari.

DON'T PLACE UR HP/CAMERA NEAR THE MIXER

WHEN MIXING IN PROGRESS.

kenapa?

bersalot tepong lah nnt. snappy aku dah berbedak skarang ni.

=.="

one hour n a half berikutnya...

(takdo rajen aku nk salin recipe utk korang n tnjok step by step)

the final product!

how it looks?

instead of red, we choose pink! bajet gadis dan sweet.

oh mula2 nk buat biru tapi mesti org tak sanggup mkn kan?

peminat setia hasil2 kueh/muffin/kek/biskot aku.

mana tak Dobot.

oh selain drpd kek.

warga2 lelaki telah buat mac n cheese utk dinner.

yummeh.

siap ada nugget lagi gitu.

okay. takde benda nak cerita sangat pon. oh, minggu ni minggu last SAP training aku and next week dah start internship on 3rd of May. fuh, no more holiday-ing for me then. fine. hello work environment! please treat me nicely. :D

till we meet again. adioz muchacoz. salam :)

Sky is My Limit

2011-04-21T23:38:00.003+08:00

new perspective, new dream, new me :)

reach for the sky!!

Salam. My life is getting better recently, Alhamdullilah. Despite the virus I get, despite sickness, despite the tiredness, I am feeling so resentful, fulfilled and happy. It's been a long time since I feel such serenity and calmness. Got to say that after I finished my degree year in Uniten, everything become clear and less painful. All the burden that hovering me after all these years already gone. Most of it, well most of my burdens did come from Uniten though. *cough*

I don't want to elaborate much as I am afraid if I might just jinx everything again. So, let me just said that my life is kinda on the right path right now. Mostly about friendships and relationships with people around me. I have less hate, much less, right now and I could make myself to think positive! It is not an easy task for a pessimist like me to get through but I manage to do it little by little. :)

I know my life don't start fully yet, as I don't start my internship yet, and there are lots of questions still lingering in my head like, I don't know what I will be doing during my internship period, will I ever land a job, will I ever get to pursue my master study in UK, will PTPTN stop harassing me and dis-ban me from going outside from the country, will I graduate in this upcoming October, ~~will I get engaged at the end of this year~~, yada yada yada. There are still lots of question without answer yet.

But, I will not let all these things troubles me. I'm going to take everything as a challenge, and face it with a smile. Ewah! Ewah!

Anyhow, I want to be happy. And I know this is my turning point to make everything wonderful. With Allah's will definitely.

Adioz muchacoz, Salam =)

Famili Contoh

2011-04-18T00:00:00.004+08:00

mmg bukan famili aku la.

talking bout this family.

tadaaaaa!!!

boom! the Addams Family! yeah yeah!

hokeyh so semalam and last week [time melepak sorang2 dlm ward], aku nonton la cerita ini. to be said, this is my favorite movie of all time. mmg r cerita ni tak logic and kinda weird but dr kecik kot aku ikot n seriusli, tak pernah failed untuk buat aku gelak n happy. kadang2 rasa nak masok family weirdo dorang ni pon ada. maybe cite ni jugak kot yg buat aku creepy n bajet goth mcm wednesday? maybe la..

neway, though this movie kinda weird n tak logic, but banyak kot message ko boleh dapat dari cerita ni. first, about Family. betapa pentingnya family. cite ni mmg nice utk family r. kita boleh tengok camne dorang sgt pentingkan ikatan kekeluargaan tuh dalam cerita ni. even dorang weird n creepy, dorang sgt sygkan family dorang. dorang defend family members dorang and though slalu je ada attempt nk membunuh tapi dorang still berkerjasama. okehlah fine aku merepek. hhahaha. yang penting, the addams family mmg sgt take care pasal family dorang. family always matter first. betol tuh. maybe for some cases only la kot.. family zmn skarang dh tak mcm family zmn dulu. right?

second, actually, aku suka tengok Morticia n Gomez. pergh bai, manusia biasa aku rasa takda boleh lawan ke-sweet-an mereka okay! sgt romantic, sgt caring, sgt segalanya terhadap each other. susah senang bersama gila r. oh guys, could u be more romantic n caring like Gomez? could u see how he loves morticia? how he adored her, how he loved her, how he never ashamed to show how much he love her, it just, wow. ceit, guys skarang nk swoh msg morning tiap pagi pon payah, call? ahaks. lupakan. and girls, be like morticia jugak r, sgt memahami suami dia, suami dia sakit, jatoh bankrap, frust, she always there for him. perempuan mmg selalu sacrifice lebey pon, so... lalala.

yeah okay, saja nk merepek sbentar di sini kerana aku tadi dok tnggu transfer game ke pendrive. esok nk balik bangi kan, harus ada game! gah, talking bout going back, malas gila. dah seronot dok umah sminggu~ huhu.

oh before blah, did anyone knows how to cure dead skin? kulit aku lepas dh sehat ni, makin kering n mati. now, dah macam kulit biawak or preferable ular. so, other than lotion, moisturizer n vitamin C, ada cara lain? aku rasa keji.

baeklah, Salam.

Post-VirusAttack Update

2011-04-16T14:53:00.003+08:00

the previous post, was actually meant that I am going to a better place to cure me as I was infected with virus last week and seriously I don't know how I ever get infected at the first place. I even was placed in the isolation ward and people need to wear mask and glove to see me.

one feeling I could describe back then was: keji

no, bukan keji terhadap mereka tetapi terhadap diri sendiri. rasa macam resident evil pon ada jugak. but, keji lagi kuat r, rasa macam, entah! keji la! even makan pon dlm polystyrene kot! takot jangkitan kan. keji.

but, it was a nice experience though to be alone by yourself for three days n nights. I was eager to be isolated before although, that was not the kind of isolation that I'm asking though. still, it was calming and peace. it did gave me some time to rethink about everything.

okay so, i am much more better now. i could touch things and walk without a slightest of pain. but i am still kinda afraid to be in public as my skin kinda, erm, gross-looking and i don't want to infect other people with this virus too. though the doc already said i am 100% okay now. precaution is always better pon kan? [dane pon dah terkena tp seb baek rawat awal~ huu *guilt*]

Salam.

psst: if i know doing portal could make me land an A or at least B+, i would never do system at the first place! never! org pakai joomla and buat portal leh dpt A. A! fine. dunia tak pernah adil. bukan dunia, tapi certain people with pangkat and kuasa.

443th Post

2011-04-09T20:32:00.001+08:00

going to a better place.

hopefully.

Assalammualaikum.

Mi Corazon

2011-04-05T00:16:00.002+08:00

ye ye blog aku nampak ke-gadis-an betol sekarang.

why eh?

eh no no no.

aku still hardcore. =.=

aku still sing along to Pyscho + Prison Song + People = Shit

tiap kali bawak kereta. so yeah aku normal lagi.

but whyyyy?

[like u asked pon la kan!]

okay this is because, this is one of the way to make

me become more optimistic and cheerful.

and. i dont know. it look nice pon kan?

whateverlah.

reason for bloggin today is...

red.

ey not my graduation day yet la!

but...

i got a bouquet of flower.

never got flowers before so seriusli touched.

[though i'm not really flower type of person~ but still..]

gracias corazon =*)

adioz muchacoz.

salam.

Wedding Photoshoot

2011-04-03T19:48:00.005+08:00

as a human being who own a DSLR.

Me myself could not resist to try my so-called 'gift' in photography,

to take wedding photograph.

luckily there is this one couple who willing to use my service

and

i don't even charge them anything.

free of charge.

do have a look at my work.

I'm just a beginner and just trying out my skills.

[skill la sgt]

enjoy!

romantic silhouette attempt

could u feel the aura?

here a sneak pic of the bride n groom

hello!

meet the bride n groom!

we couldn't find a scooter.

so this tricycle seems pretty convenient with them.

last but not least,

they are happily married!

yeah.

just consider yourself pranked by me.

no?

HA-HA-HA.

fina sapelah nk hire aku kan!

hahahahah.

so!

till we meet again!

adioz muchacoz.

salam.

Officially New!

2011-04-03T02:32:00.001+08:00

I private my blog for, well, less than 24 hours.
why? because I was attacked by "bored" + "menyampah" mood
about social networking last night.

and also because my previous post are pretty much
evolve around negativity.

but then!
I can't let negativity surround me again.
so, I activate back my FB because I am itching to know
what happening to my friends. a stalker could never rest!
not only activating FB back, I even made a twitter account.
=.="

so! I already end my student years in UniHell. =p
looking forward to SAP training and Internship. okay not that much!
so, as a stalker+bigfatwalrus with no life,
internet and games and tv is MY LIFE right now.

ooh.
from now on also, I will try my best not to bitch n craps
about people in my blog. not nice not nice.
lets surround this blog with positivity!
*optimistic*
[but if there is a bitch provoking me so, am sori, i need too!]

what else?
okay see ya.
hope awep.arale.merzy are happy my blog public again!
tak perlu nak majok2 ye!
tepok dahi sorang2 nnt.

adioz amigoz!
salam.

Kiss Bon!

2011-03-30T23:00:00.003+08:00

Adil ke, bila orang lain siapkan kerja on time, buat kerja dengan susah payah, dengan masa tidur terganggu, dengan emosi terganggu, dengan penat, dengan itu, dengan ini,

tapi engkau, YES ENGKAU TUH HAH BIATCH!

yang langsung tak berusaha, alasan yang tak munasabah, menipu tak habis2, kutuk2 lecturer konon tak adil tp brani ckp blakang je, etc etc etc,

boleh bersenang-lenang and confident utk pass project sbb ko KISS-ASS-ER yang paling gempak manusia boleh jumpa?

eh. macam haram kan perangai kau? hipokrit satu hal la, ni kiss-ass lagi. think about fairness lah oi. orang lain, nak pass something, berusaha n buat kerja betol2. tapi kau nak lepas, ko pergi bodek org atasan tiap hari je? camtuh sampai mampos r hidup ko cium bontot orang tak habis2 kan? dulu cakap pandai, semua benda senang, then pehal tak boleh nk show smue tuh bila dh dtg time utk ko buktikan cakap2 ko tuh? sbb smue tuh bullshit je kan?

aku, kalau ko tuh orang yg aku tak kenal, just tahu nama je, then maybe aku tak heran la kot apa ko nak buat. tapi, we were friends, we used to be close, i can read you in one week time only so please stop bullshitting people around you, especially to those who close to me. i known a greatest liar since i was a kid, so pathetic kiss-ass-er liar like u, it so fucking easy to detect and to be hated.

ah cakap banyak2 pasal kau pon takde guna, bukan ko sedar diri pon. orang perfect biasa la kan, selalu rasa diri dia perfect sangat smpai smue orang sekeliling dia keji n hina. pegi mampos.

eh jangan mampos dulu, pegi la bertobat. berubah la weh selagi ada masa ko dlm dunia ni, ko pon slalu cite ko byk penyakit yang kronik kan? so, kalo possible, ubah r diri kau. ramai yang akan sokong ko n sayang ko if ko berubah jadi yg better. daripada berpuluh mengata perangai haram kau smpai masok dlm blog mcm aku ni, seb baek aku sorang je pon yg rajen ber-blog, tolong r, stop bullshitting people.

438th Post

2011-03-27T22:42:00.003+08:00

2 post in a night? Yeah, I am that depress and down.

I activate back my FB. As always, I stalk people randomly. There is one wall post from this one person to another person; my heart drop. I don't know the truth behind it, but I could feel in my heart what it is about, and no matter how I tried to put up a smile and forget the history, it will always ruined and haunted me. Because I know, people don't always tell the truth to my face.

Forget about that.

Tonight, I just want to say, I regretted to ruined all the friendships that I have. No matter how I try to forget and plant hatred in myself, I just can't. Because I know I am the one who with problems and dark heart. I tend to push people away from my life but actually, I rotted inside every time I passed someone on the hallway and act like we never know each other. It just killed me because I know, it was my fault. It was always my fault.

Oh please stop hating people, it will never bring you to anywhere. Seriously.

Now I am hungry.

Salam.

437th Post

2011-03-27T20:37:00.002+08:00

Bila hati luruh, aku kurang pasti nak bercerita pada siapa untuk kembalikan kondisi normalnya.

Sometimes, no, most of the times, people just get tired listening to my crappy life again and again.

Much Better

2011-03-23T19:17:00.002+08:00

It is reported that Wuhayb bin Al-Ward – Allah have mercy on him – said,

Verily, when Allah the Exalted wants to honor a servant of His (for his righteousness), He afflicts him with a reduced means of living, illness in his body and a fearful life (all of which expiate his sins). Until death comes upon him, and he still has some sins, death is made hard upon him because of them, causing him to meet Allah with no sins against him.

And when a person is of little value to Allah (because of his disobedience), He makes his body healthy, broadens his means of living and makes him feel safe (the rewards for any good deeds he did are exhausted). Until death comes upon him, and he still has some good deeds, the experience of death is lightened for him because of them, and he meets Allah with nothing.

Abu Bakr Al-Daynuri, Al-Mujalasah wa Jawahir Al-’Ilm article 2865.

source: http://alathariyyah.tumblr.com/

I feel blessed and touched and also scared.

Beban One : Lift Off!

2011-03-21T22:32:00.004+08:00

okay before u start reading, do picture my rockstar/gruesome face smiling *wideeeeeeeeely*

why? well. I already present my FYP! and it marks the end of my journey as an IT student. enough with the coding and countless hours of spending time sobbing in front of laptop because certain function could not run as it should be. my examiner did complaint this and that, she said my system is lack of transaction and it is simple and such, but that did not bring me down because I am so proud of myself to do this project by myself and I develop the coding using pure PHP/MySQL. got to thanks BILLIONS to my friends for helping me in developing the system too. tanpa mereka, system ku hanya interface semata2.

so here are some preview of my project, not that great though. do it as simple as I can because of the restricted time include the laziness and the unwillingness to do it properly. yes, I am big fat lazy walrus pretending to be a human. @.@

wassap, this is the main page.

ignore the birds, strictly for "hiasan" only

the main function.

calendar & booking

thanks to maniarasan for giving me the code

or i might die today with no booking process at all!

so how was it? nice or not? don't care much! haha. as long as I am satisfied, okay not that 100% satisfied but I am relief to finish my project, so other peoples thought are not that important. actually last night, all these great ideas flood into my head for my system but like wth man, i got less than 6 hours to do all the coding back so, I just burn the ideas deep inside my brain and present with what I got. now everything is settle already and I need to get ready for the next budern! FINAL BATTLE = FINAL EXAM. huargh!!! wish me a veryyy good LUCK. :)

psst: week more to end the students life. sobs.

psst: okay rasa seram bila blogger from famous matters melawat blog keji aku ni. wuu~

434th Post

2011-03-19T14:22:00.002+08:00

tiada kesedaran ialah main problem aku sekarang.

for a week, aku tak boleh jalan, tak boleh berdiri, tak boleh duduk, semua tak boleh akibat kaki kesayangan. kelas last tak pergi, presentation burn, kerja takleh buat. semua. oh IC hilang pon tak pergi report lagi, mampos la kalo ada manusia jahat jumpa and pergi buat loan satu juta using IC aku. semua kerana kaki, kaki kaki kaki.

now kaki dah okay sikit, Alhamdullilah. lepas jumpa doc, siap amek darah [setelah satu tahun lebih tak tgk darah diamek], lepas jumpa ustaz mintak penawar, baru nak okay. tapi, kaki je lah okay, mood relax dan malas dan trauma mahu bediri, masih ada.

sepatotnya presentation fyp aku 28 March ni. sebab 2nd reader cuti for the whole next week. so masa bersakit2 kat umah hari tuh, rasa lega sikit. sekali... dapat email n call, kena tukar to isnin ni pukol 9 pagi. dengan apa pon aku tak buat lg, documentation takde, secara hypothetically aku nak bunuh diri je.

now dah nak pukol 3 pada hari sabtu. less then 24 hours to finish both the coding n documentation tp aku lagi boleh pergi berseronot edit gamba hippo n juga bukak tumblr, blog, facebuk macam takde benda nak buat.

kesedaran takde.

tiba2 dah smpai last moment ni, spirit aku dah takde. hilang voom boosh bye!.

agak2 bila dah failed semua, tempat internship tak dpt, baru nak menanges berguling kot? oh tolonglah jaohkan perkara2 tersebut berlaku. =(

tapi seriusli aku takde mood dah nk tgk coding. aku taktaw nk buat apa dah. aku tahu nak baking ngan amek gambar kucing je skarang. huargh.

okay. bye2.

adioz muchacoz, salam.

433th Post

2011-03-15T23:48:00.004+08:00

dah sampai masanya. i have to do it. i have to do it. i need strength. please. :'(

update: aku layan grey's anatomy season 7. baru 4 episod, dh nanges sedih. aku benci GA sbb suka buat cerita yg aku boleh relate n terasa. tp aku lg benci gila hati aku macam tissue senang nanges. aku asek kutuk anak2 sdare aku mcm mak mertua kasim selamat sbb nanges tp aku pon sama. tp at least anak2 sdare aku menanges, parents dorang termasok opah dorang care. tp aku nanges? siapalah mahu peduli.

Tuhan, kalau kau kehendaki aku aku terima dugaan2 ni sebelom exam, aku terima je lah dengan hati terbuka. aku tahu kau mmg suka uja n uji aku. sbb macam mana aku rak bercinta dengan hamba ciptaan kau pon, last2 pada kau gak aku mengadu segala masalah. pada kau lah aku menanges. biasalah manusia, bila hati tuh dh remuk, baru carik tuhan. mmg aku deserve semua penyakit and sakit ni. i know it will make me much stronger. terima kasih. Alhamdullilah. terima kasih.

IT Kids Rocks Wetland, Putrajaya

2011-03-09T23:25:00.003+08:00

okay, despite the high level of pain I had on my ibu-jari-kaki,

and despite the rain,

and despite the hungriness,

I managed to have good time with my friends.

not much to be tell.

we have fun, and nearly all of us are there.

to those who can't make it,

maybe we could snap pic together on graduation day perhaps?

hopefully :)

semoga boleh mengambil gambar seceria sebegini lagi :)

ceriaaaa..

the Dudes.

the Babez.

KAMI.

okay, now is the time to step back on earth

and finish all my works!!!!

MALASNYA LAHHHH.. :(

adioz muchacoz, salam.

psst: "everybody knows your name, but they dont know who you are, but to them it's just a game and I think it's gone too far"

Need Help?

2011-03-08T21:38:00.003+08:00

I was pretty zero with mood 30 minutes ago. Why? Because my project still in progress, draft report still not been touch yet, no company have responded to my internship application yet, with 2 presentations coming up, with quiz that need to be study tomorrow, GOSH, tense + stress + exhausted.

BUT!

before I embark on the voyage on doing my project, I checked up on my email, just to check if there are others opening for IT internship in jobstreet. Terasa sedih bila hampir 20 company aku hantar resume, satu pon tak reply status kat aku. Sobs.

oh pastoh! with much excitement and happiness with a little bit of sobs, I got an interview! :D

weeeeeeeeee! excited tak excited tak utk aku? well I know parahanano did feel happy for me! :D

okay now i'm scared shitless because seriously, I never went to any interview before. ZERO experiences! damn. so everybody! to anyone who have the experience on going to an interview before, could you drop me some advice and words for me to prepare myself? I really desperate to get this internship, seriously desperado. Parah told me to be confidence, but seriously, I am not that confident at all! Penakot kot aku ni sebenarnya.

okaylah kalo korang malu2 kucing nk komen n advice, korang doakan aku dapat pon jadik r. and and, if korang EXCITED & HAPPY untuk aku pon dah memadai.

fuh.

okay ni initial interview je btw, tak sure la dapat lagi ke tak kan, but hopefully sangat la dapat, aku takmo melalui hari2 aku dengan perasaan sugul sbb berasa yang tiada satu company pon sudi terima aku kat tempat dorang. so, do WISH me a VERY GOOD LUCK! insyaAllah :)

adioz muchacos, salam :)

p/s: i felt empty and wrong. was it wrong? was my time and self are wasted? how can i know? how can i possibly know? i am sad. do u know it? could you sense it in my words? oh. of course you can't. sigh.

What A Life

2011-03-03T17:42:00.005+08:00

I have been such a loner and a loser for all my life. When I was a kid, I was bullied throughout my school years. Not enough from friends who think I am weird, but also at home where I was the youngest one. My childhood was not as fun as my peers. As I hit the teenagers years, it just become worst. I was diagnose with sickness that have no cure. I stay in the hospital for 2-3 months every year because of it. I don't have that much fun at all. My friends are limited, people don't like to befriend with that kid who always sick. Thanks to those who stay through all these year btw, though we are in the different country and state right now but we still love each other much. Having no pretty face though both of my parents are from sumatera and they have indonesian + chinese + malay + minang + bugis + Caucasian + mexican + middle east blood, it was hard for me to attract boys. But, as I said, I have friends who stick with me since childhood and some of them are guys who I know, really love me though we know we are just going to stick as friend no matter what. So, now I thought when I'm getting into university to lead a new life, things will get better. Well it did become better! Yeah I am still sick from time to time and got to skip my classes because I am sick and things but no, life was just great! First, my studies was superb, i am a genius in head though i lack in looks and health. Friends are much more many than before and I am so much in lucks in guy! I dont know why but guys just want to befriend me and got to say this, sometimes it made me suffocated. But, I am still sick. And it getting worst now as I approach my final years. I can't concentrate on my studies, I skipping class, I can't do my project. Sigh. Just to made it all much more worst, my laptop crash week ago and I don't have a backup for my project. The due date is next friday and I dont know what to do! Eh wait, I know what to do, my project is simple and I am sure I can finish it! Well, I am that good in coding, it is that simple! I wish I could end university life fast, I want to travel to oversea to meet all my friends there, i want to works at my parents friends company who willing to give me a job with high salary and able to buy all LV, gucci, channel beg that i've been bragging about and maybe get married to a guy because it just so tiresome to date anymore. What a life.

100% FICTION.

GO DIE YOU BIATCCCCCH.